Downwards Spiral
by TVDKay
Summary: AU AH Damon Salvatore is grief-stricken by the death of Katherine Pierce, and begins to journey down a dark road. Will best friend Elena Gilbert be able to become a beacon of light in time, or will she lose him? ****Mature Content including self-harm and suicidal thoughts****Trigger warning****
1. Chapter 1

It was the first day of their senior year of high school. One more year, and they were off to explore the world. Most of the students couldn't be happier, but Damon Salvatore was in a rut. He had been in love with Katherine Pierce for as long as he could remember, and so had his brother Stefan. This year, Stefan had gone to college, and Katherine was supposed to join him. She decided to drive out alone that morning, so she would have more room for everything she would need, and she crashed the car. To this day, nobody had known if she crashed it on purpose, or if it really was an accident.

Damon was the complete definition of alone, aside from his best friend, Elena Gilbert. He had managed to avoid her most of the summer, he had been at his lake house. He knew she would find out eventually, he just didn't want her to.

He waited at her locker, like he had every morning since their freshman year. He fiddled with his phone for a minute to avoid looking like a complete loner, but then decided he really didn't care. Elena finally made her way down the hall, wearing a pair of black shorts that he was sure broke dress code, and a light pink tank top that definitely broke dress code. Her eye makeup was much heavier than usual, a black winged eyeliner and curled lashes. "Miss. Gilbert, are you fighting with your father again?" he asked.

Elena smiled, "How'd you know?"

"Well, we've been friends for what 17 years now? You always wear a lot of makeup and minimal clothing when you're pissed at him."

"So basically I'm a slut." She pointed out as she opened her locker.

"Just a tad."

"Well then this slut missed you!" she said before throwing her bag inside and hugging him. "You are never allowed to ditch me all summer ever again. I was so bored. Like I owned tumblr. Owned."

Damon laughed, "Well I'm glad to see you haven't changed, little Gilbert."

"Shut up! You're a month older than me." She said, locking her lock and walking to their period A class.

He followed her, "So we have good schedules, huh?"

"Yeah, we got lucky. Because we're SENIORS!" she screamed the last word, attracting confused glares of every single freshman.

Damon shook his head, "You just love saying that, don't you? Because my voicemail is filled with messages of you telling me what grade I was in."

"Its fun! We're seniors!" she said, settling into her desk. The bell rang, and Damon let out a sigh. It was going to be a long day.

"One day down. One hundred and seventy nine days to go." Damon announced as they walked out of their last class of the day.

Elena smiled, "Are you coming to practice? Cause Coach is kinda pissed you weren't at preseason…" she trailed off.

"Oh, um I'm not running this year Lena." He said, avoiding her eyes.

"What! You're the one who made me join this stupid sport to begin with!" she began to scream, and Damon laughed.

"Shut up, you love it! I'm not into it, maybe I'll do winter track, but no cross country."

"Is this about Katherine?" Elena asked. Katherine had been the captain of the girl's team since her junior year, and had originally encouraged Damon to join. Of course he had, because it would mean more time with her, and more chances to impress her while Stefan was playing football.

Damon rolled his eyes before silently walking away. He chose to walk home instead of taking the bus, he needed some time alone. He blasted his iPod, and Asking Alexandria blared through his head, reminding him of her. Every song had now reminded him of her, nearly everything he saw could remind him of her.

*Flashback*

"Damon! Damon come on! I'm leaving in less than 24 hours!" she whispered as loud as she could from his window. She held up a bottle of vodka, shaking it in front of him. "Come on! One more night!"

Damon got up and threw on a pair of jeans and an old tee shirt. He climbed out his first story window, leaving it unlocked for later. He immediately kissed her, and she pushed him away. "Damon, stop. You know we cant." She said with such authority.

He rolled his eyes, "I don't get you. One night you're in my bed, the next you're pushing me off of you. What do you want Katherine?" he asked, taking the bottle from her hands. He drank it as they walked towards the Falls, it had always been their special place.

"I don't know what I want. Which is why I never close doors, I just leave them open a crack." She said quietly, as if she had let him in on a secret. She pulled her speakers out of her bag, and pulled Damon's phone out of his pocket, turning on his music. Damon willed himself to fight her, but he couldn't whenever she used that smile on him.

"God, you are so lucky you're hot." He mumbled.

"You too Salvatore, you too." She said, taking a long swig from her bottle.

*Present day*

Damon thought about the last time he had seen her, the last time he had actually been happy. He felt the guilt in the bottom of his stomach, reminding him that he was probably the reason she was gone. She was most likely hungover from their goodbye, and that's why she crashed the car. He cursed under his breath as he opened the front door.

"How was your day honey?" his mother called from the kitchen.

"Spectacular. Fan fucking tastic. Walking on sunshine mom." He sarcastically replied before running up the stairs and slamming his bedroom door.

He sunk to his feet against the door, letting the tears come. He had held up pretty well all day, but he shattered. Everything had reminded him of her. Whether it was a hallway, a classroom, a water fountain, or even a locker, they all had a memory of her. Even Elena had reminded him of Katherine, they had the same eyes, though he was the only one who saw it. He locked the door, and rolled up his sleeves. He winced at the scars that were already there, they were a deep shade of burgundy, deep and long. He took off his watch, revealing even more, before taking out the pocket knife he received for his sixteenth birthday.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Thank you for the follows, favorites, and reviews! Sorry its been a while guys, I promised myself I wouldn't write any fanfic until I finished an essay for school and Im a huge procrastinator….Anyway, don't forget to check out my other story called Petrova Sisters, and thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Elena walked to the senior parking lot after she got out of practice and decided to visit Damon, he wasn't himself today. She pulled into the Salvatore driveway to find that his parents were home too, she smiled. Giuseppe and Rose had always been so kind to her. She pulled down the visor of her car, looking in the mirror. She let her hair out of her ponytail, in an attempt to look decent. She found body spray in her bag and quickly sprayed some on before walking to the front door. She rang the bell, and was greeted by Rose. "Elena honey! Its been too long! How are you!?" she asked, hugging Elena.

"I'm good Rose! I missed you! Sorry I'm all sweaty, I came straight from practice."

"Oh don't be silly, I live with 3 men, well 2 now that Stefans gone. Damon is upstairs, something has been bothering him. I don't know, he's just not himself. Do you know if he's okay?" she asked, suddenly concerned.

"Actually, that's why I came. We barely talked all summer and he seemed a little distant today."

"Alright, well you know where his room is." Rose replied with a smile.

"Thank you." Elena said, walking up the familiar staircase.

She tapped lightly on the door, calling in "Damon? Its Lena."

Damon cursed under his breath, sliding his knife under his bed where she couldn't see it. He quickly rolled down his sleeves and turned down his music before opening the door. "Hey." He said, walking back across the dark room to the area where they normally sat. Elena threw herself onto her beanbag and Damon did the same.

"So whats up with you?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"You know exactly what I mean. First of all look at this room," she walked towards the windows, opening the curtains. "It shouldn't be this dark. You were moody all day, and now you're not running? We've been friends forever, I know when somethings wrong."

"I'm fine, and I'd really appreciate it if everyone would stop asking I was okay because I'm fine!" he nearly screamed before getting up and walking to the curtains, closing them before opening the door. "You can go now." He said sternly.

Elena stood up and closed the door. "Don't you _dare _talk to me like that ever again. Damon, I'm worried about you, just tell me whats going on." Her voice softened.

He sat back down and so did she, "I'm lost Elena. I miss her." He nearly whispered.

Elena sat in his beanbag chair with him, wrapping her arms around him. "I know I know, Damon. But you've got so many people here for you. You know I'm always here to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. She's gone. There's nothing anyone can do, she's dead. She's not coming back."

Elena sat with him for another hour, in silence before leaving. She drove home fighting tears, she hated seeing him like this. The minute she walked in the door, the overwhelming scent of pot filled her nose. She shook her head, Jeremy was so stupid sometimes. "Where the hell were you?" her father asked from the kitchen.

"Practice then I went to see Damon." She responded in a snippy tone as she walked up the stairs, it wasn't even worth talking to him at this point. She tapped on Jeremy's door before opening it. "At least crack open a window, Jer." She said as he struggled to hide what he was doing.

The next morning they followed their normal routine, Damon met her at her locker. "Hey, how are you?" Elena asked.

"I'm still fine, and I would love it if you stop asking that." He replied.

Elena rolled her eyes, "Well, I won't so get deal with it."

"You're so stubborn," he said before throwing her a crooked smile.

"I know, my best friend taught me that," she said, attempting a crooked smile of her own.

"Listen, I wanna apologize for last night. I was a dick. I'm sorry,"

"Wow, is Damon Salvatore admitting he did something wrong? I am shocked!" Elena sarcastically said.

"I'm serious. I'm sorry, you were just trying to help."

"I know, it's fine Damon. Don't worry about it," she said, smiling up at him as he towered above her.

"Please come to practice today, please?" she begged as they walked out of their last class.

Damon groaned, "But why?"

"Because its our senior year, you've been doing it since you were a freshman, it makes no sense to stop now. One practice, it's a light day."

Damon rolled his eyes before reluctantly agreeing. "One practice if it'll shut you up."

Elena smiled, "Go get changed, I'll meet you at the water fountain." Before walking into the girls locker room.

She got to the water fountain before he did, wearing bright pink shorts and a blue tank top with her hair in a high ponytail. He trudged down the hallway in blue shorts and a light gray hoodie.

"Damon, its like 75 degrees out. And we're running. You're not really wearing that, are you?" she asked.

He shrugged, "I'll be fine."

"Damon, you're gonna like pass out or something. At least roll up your sleeves." She pleaded.

"I'm fine, let it go." He said as he filled up his water bottle.

"No!" Elena said, reaching for his sleeves. She pulled them up to his elbows, breathing out "Oh my God," when she saw the scars.

"Lena, don't freak out, its nothing." He said, pulling them back.

"Damon, that's not nothing. Come on, you're coming with me." She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him outside. She opened the passenger side of her car.

"I can open a car door Elena." He mumbled.

"Just get in the car," she replied.

They pulled out of the parking lot, and Damon asked "So, when are you gonna interrogate me?"

"When we get there," she asked, visibly fighting tears.

"Get where?" he asked.

"You'll see," she said as they pulled onto the highway.

"Lena, pull over," he demanded.

"No."

"Elena, pull over the damned car," he said, a little louder.

"No. You have to face your fear eventually Damon," she chided.

"Not today. Please, pull over," he was now pleading with her.

"No, we're going somewhere," she said, making it clear that he had no choice.

Hope you enjoyed that! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love your feedback, and you can expect a new chapter before Wednesday!  
XOXO,  
Kay


	3. Chapter 3

So sorry for the late update! I had half of the chapter done, but it didn't save! I was so angry that I just didn't feel like writing for a few days. To make it up to you guys, this ones a little longer! Please review/favorite/follow!

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Elena finally pulled over, at the one place that Damon had never wanted to be. They were on the side of the highway, a small pink cross marking the spot where Katherine had died on impact. Elena turned off the ignition, and stepped out of the car. She walked around the front of the car and opened Damon's door.

"No," he said, still not looking at her. His eyes glared at his shoes, and his mind was somewhere far off.

"Damon, please," she began to plead with him.

"I said no. Please just take me home," he commanded, more aggression in his voice now.

"Damon come on!" she shrieked, reaching for his seatbelt. He grabbed her forearm and slowly tightened his grip on it. She glared up at him until he loosened the grip. She ripped her arm out of his hand and walked back to her side. She slammed the door as she got in, and drove rather quickly back to town.

"Elena, slow down. I'd really appreciate it if you could not speed where Katherine died. Because she was most likely speeding," he said quietly, knowing she was frustrated now.

"Alright, Grandma," she muttered, slowing down to the speed limit. She pulled into a spot in front of the town's deli. "Wait here," she commanded with a smile, and bounced out of the car. She walked back a few minutes later with a brown paper bag, which she put in Damon's lap. "I'm sorry if you thought I was being mean before. I'm just really-"

"Shocked? Disgusted? Ashamed?" he asked, cutting her off.

Elena pulled over now, facing him. "Damon, of course I'm surprised. And I'm guilty, I'm your best friend, I should have known. I should have been helping you. But never in a million years could I be disgusted by you or ashamed of you. You were there for me through everything, and now its time for me to pay you back. We're gonna get you through this, and everything is going to be okay. I am not repulsed by you and never will be. Never," she said, looking at him with doe eyes. He felt a sense of security in the way she spoke, he knew she meant it. At least he had one person, he thought. He nodded, not wanting to get sentimental, but he knew she was smiling again. She had always loved watching him avoid talking about their friendship.

She pulled into the cemetery, and he got out of the car now. They followed their usual routine, they walked down to the lake and picked a few flowers each. Usually Elena would walk to her mother's grave while Damon would sit by his father's for a minute saying a silent prayer. He would look up and see Elena fighting tears, and say goodbye to his father to go comfort her. Today, Elena placed her flowers at her mother's grave and walked over to Damon. He had been staring at the stone, but saying nothing. Eventually he patted the top of it, and made his next stop. "Katherine Pierce, loving daughter and loyal friend 1992-2009" the tombstone read.

Damon looked at Elena, who had been holding the brown paper bag. He smiled, taking it from her and sitting down. She joined him, and they ate in silence for a minute. "I think we reached a new level of weird kids." Damon said. Elena cocked an eyebrow in response, as her mouth was full. "Who has picnics in cemeteries?" he asked.

She swallowed, "We did all the time when my mom died. Otherwise it was just too sad coming, this makes it bearable I guess."

Damon nodded, now that she explained it made sense. "I haven't been here since the funeral," he said quietly.

"I figured," she responded. "You should have called or something, I would have taken you sooner,"

"Yeah, but I didn't want to come. But its really not that bad. God, I miss her though."

"I know, and theres nothing anyone can do to take that away. But we need to talk, hurting yourself isn't the answer Damon," she said, her voice fading to a whisper as she went on.

He inhaled, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. He knew she wouldn't understand, that's why he never told her. She was just trying to help though, so he couldn't be rude. "Do you know why I do it?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

Elena slowly shook her head, looking at him with a pitying look. "Alright, well for starters, don't treat me like a broken toy. Don't give me that look, I'm still Damon," he explained, but she looked unconvinced. "I've been meaning to ask, hows blondie? Still mad I never called? Do you think I could get her in-?" she cut him off with laughter.

"Fine! You're still Damon!" she exclaimed. "Caroline is fine, she got together with Tyler," she added.

"Eww! Blondie and Lockwood? Oh my God, that's worse than you and Donovan! Or you and Stefan!" he shouted.

"No! They're adorable! And shut up! Matt and I weren't that bad, but yeah I don't know what I was thinking with Stef. That was weird. Stop trying to change the subject though," she said, turning serious again.

"Right. So, no more sympathetic looks. And now the explanation. I've never told anyone this," he started, taking a deep breath, "but I was with Katherine the night before she died. She came in my room at like 1 am or something and took me to the Falls, where we drank. We polished off a full bottle of vodka, and you know how low her tolerance for alcohol was." His eyes had never left the dirt he was sitting on, and he had let it run through his fingers as he told the story.

"Oh my God, Damon no," she breathed out.

"Its my fault Elena. She was probably hungover, maybe even still drunk. I shouldn't have let her drink, or I shouldn't have let her drive there alone. Fuck!" he screamed, throwing a small rock into the woods. Elena made her way over, wrapping her arms around him, whispering into his ear.

"Its not your fault, it is not your fault Damon. Listen to me, this wasn't your fault!" she begged him to believe her, but he just sat, his eyes vacant of all feeling.

"It is though. You know its true. It was my fault. And now shes gone, she never even got to live. Stefan never got to marry her. And I'm to blame. And that's why I cut Elena. Because it's the only way to escape the pain up here," he explained, gesturing to his head. He looked at her, makeup was now running down her face. "Lena, don't cry, I'm alright." He plastered on a fake smile, in an attempt to persuade her, but she wasn't buying it.

"Don't say that Stefan never got to marry her. She loved you too. She loved the both of you, I think that was one of her biggest fears, having to choose."

Damon nodded, "She told me that night that she 'never closed any doors, she always left them open a crack.' I guess that's why she never actually dated either of us. Just casual sex and makeout sessions," he smiled at the memories. "I miss her." He said quite simply.

"Me too." She replied, now resting her head on his shoulder. He shrugged her off, and cupped her face in his hands. "Damon? What are you doi-" she whispered.

His lips crashed onto hers, cutting her off and answering her question.

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Ahh! DELENA! I feel so evil! I hope you liked that one! No promises for the next chapter though, because I obviously suck at keeping those! Thanks for reading, please review! There are 14 reviews for this story so far, can we make it up to at least 20? Reviews make me write faster! *hint hint wink wink*  
XOXO,  
Kay


	4. Chapter 4

"Me too." She replied, now resting her head on his shoulder. He shrugged her off, and cupped her face in his hands. "Damon? What are you doi-" she whispered. His lips crashed onto hers, cutting her off and answering her question. He kissed her for a long moment and he could have sworn she kissed him back, before she pushed him off. "Damon, what the hell?! Get off of me!" she shrieked.

"Lena," he started.

"No! No! Damon, what the hell were you thinking? I am your best friend! Elena! Are you delusional?!" she was still shrieking.

Damon stood up, looking down at her. "Before, I felt stupid. But now, I'm hurt," he said before storming off. She called after him, begging for him to wait. "Why is it so hard to believe that I would kiss you?" he asked her.

"Because we've been best friends since we were five."

"Exactly. Who knows you better than I do?" he asked, his arms now locking around her waist, drawing her in.

"Damon, no. I think we should go home, today has been a very emotional day for everyone, and I think we just need to sort it out, sleep a little bit," she rambled on and on, but he didn't release her.

"Oh come on! Don't use that as an excuse! You kissed me back, and you know it felt right. But then the buzzkill side of you came out…" he trailed off.

"I call that the rational side. Come on, let me go and I'll drive you home."

"Dammit Kat! I don't want to go home! I just wanna do this!" he screamed before kissing her yet again.

Elena pushed his chest away from her own, screaming right back "What did you just call me?"

"Oh my God. Oh my God," he whispered to himself, collapsing on the floor.

"You need to figure this out Damon. I am not Katherine Pierce. I am Elena Gilbert, I am your best friend. I don't know what the hell just happened, but I'm going home. So you can either get in the car and I will drop you off, or you can walk. I'm going though," she said, turning on her heel and walking to her car.

Damon sat still, deciding he would stay a little while longer. He watched the trees sway in the wind, and halfheartedly waved to Elena as she pulled out.

Elena drove home and started the stairs once inside. "Elena! Why did I get a call you weren't at practice today? That's no way to win a county title," her father called from the kitchen. Elena rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen.

"Not now Dad. I don't care about a title. I had to deal with Damon, hes going through some stuff. Can I go to my room now?" she asked.

He nodded, and she sauntered up. She closed the door quietly, and sat on the floor. She cried for about an hour, not knowing what to do. Should she tell someone? Damon obviously needed help, and she didn't know if she would be enough this time. Of course if she told anyone else he would resent her. But wouldn't it be worth it? Elena didn't know what to think, so she eventually moved onto another topic. Why did he kiss her? Its not like she didn't enjoy it, but such weird timing. And why did he call her Katherine after? They had been best friends for years, of course Elena had wondered if they could ever be something more. She had always denied her feelings; it would just be too weird. She also couldn't bear the thought of it ending badly; she couldn't afford to lose Damon for good. She looked in the mirror, her chestnut hair was a shade lighter than Katherine's had been. Her hair was straight, while Katherine's had always been curled. Katherine had always worn much more makeup than Elena, and dressed more provocatively. Millions of thoughts raced through her mind, and she was unable to process a single one, because every thought was interrupted by another.

The sun began to set, and Damon started walking home. He found that he needed to remind himself that Katherine was gone, and Elena was all he had. Somehow, the past and present seemed to run together, and his head was spinning because of it. Why had he kissed her? He knew she was Elena, why did he kiss Elena? He had loved her for years, but couldn't imagine telling her that. He couldn't understand why he kissed her, or worse why he called her Katherine. He thought back, she had been yelling at him. He chuckled softly to himself; Elena became even more like Katherine when she was mad. They were practically identical, though nobody else saw it. Of course Elena was more confident than Katherine, and didn't wear much makeup. Katherine had always covered most of her face with various products, and Damon recalled one night in particular, when she drunkenly told him all of her insecurities. He reached into his pocket and dialed a number he hadn't dialed in a while, Katherine's. Her parents still hadn't disconnected the phone, so he was greeted with, "Hey, it's Kat. Why are you even calling, like jeez just send a text. Well you made it this far, leave a message!" in her voice. He smiled in nostalgia; it was good to hear her voice again.

He clicked end and dialed another number. He waited anxiously for an answer and was relieved when the ringing ceased. "Hey Stef, is it a bad time?" he asked.

"Nope, not at all. Needed a studying distraction," he responded. Damon swore he could hear a woman's voice in the background. "What's up?"

"Uh, are you sure you aren't busy?"

"No, Stephanie was just leaving. Whats going on baby bro?"

"I wanted to talk, I miss her."

Stefan sighed, "Damon its been a while now."

"A while? Stef we buried her like a month ago!" he screamed into the phone.

"Damon, I know you're upset, but theres nothing anyone can do. She's gone," Stefan started.

"But its not fair. I loved her."

"Nothing is fair, and I know, you guys always were great friends. I loved her too, we all did."

Damon rolled his eyes, wishing he could tell his brother about all that he had done with Katherine, but she had sworn him to secrecy. "I did something very bad today."

Stefan sighed again, "I knew this good streak was going on too long….What happened?"

"I kissed Elena."

Stefan laughed, "You kissed who? Gilbert? This is a problem because? My god, you've been in love with her since kindergarten. Congrats baby bro!"

"Because she kissed me back then pulled away and started screaming at me," Damon explained. "Oh and I called her Kat," he quickly added.

"You what? Why the hell would you call her Kat?" Stefan asked, now completely lost.

"That's the problem. I don't know."

"Well its not like you were ever in love with Kat. I mean you guys never did anything, so it cant be that. Did Lena remind you of Kat or something?"

Damon smirked, "Well yeah. Have you seen her? She's practically Kat's doppelganger! Just less makeup, lighter straighter hair, and more confidence. And the way she was yelling at me, it was so unlike her. She sounded so much like Kat," he laughed.

Stefan laughed too, "You're still the only one who sees the similarities. And yeah, Kat did love yelling at you. Which was good, took the pressure off of the boyfriend over here," his laughter faded out. "Well ex-boyfriend. I still don't know why she broke up with me."

"You know Kat, she didn't like being tied down. She was spontaneous, it wasn't you. Plus you guys were going to different schools, you were bound to meet new people. So who's Stephanie?" he asked.

"Nothing serious, just the flavor of the day."

"Oh my God! Stefan you've gotten cruel in your old age! So what, you slept with her?" Damon asked.

"Well, yeah. Oops."

"Stefan Salvatore, using women for sex without a serious relationship. Stefan Salvatore, no longer the good brother! I like this!" Damon announced.

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**So sorry for late update, I'm just not motivated anymore….Its been a rough few weeks. Please review, it means more to me than you think! Keep reading, following, and favoriting!  
XOXO,  
Kay**


	5. Chapter 5

Elena woke up the next morning, already dreading her day at school. She took a shower, and dressed in a pair of dark jeans, black ballet flats, and a black and white checkered shirt with a camisole underneath. She had opted to leave her natural curls in her hair, and kept her makeup to a minimal. She grabbed her bag and walked out the door, and drove herself to school. It was a short walk from the parking lot to the front door of the building, and despite how slowly she walked, she was at her locker on time, where Damon had been waiting for her.

"Good morning, _Elena,_" he greeted her, emphasizing her name.

"Hi Damon," she responded, without looking at him. Her hair had fallen in front of her face as she unpacked her books, and put some new ones in her bag.

"How is my best friend today?" he asked.

"I don't know, but I'm fine," she snippily responded before slamming her locker and walking away.

Damon hung his head down with a slight smile, she was gonna play _that_ game.

Elena walked quickly to her first class, and sat down in her desk. Damon strolled in casually five minutes after the bell. "Sorry," he said with his iconic smile to the teacher as he handed in a late pass. He sat down in his normal seat, next to Elena. She dramatically sighed and rolled her eyes. Luckily for her, the teacher gave notes the whole period, making it easier for her to ignore him. When the bell rang, they walked down the hallway together as they always did, though this time in silence. "Meet me in the library?" he asked. Elena nodded; she had a study hall next period anyway. She walked straight to their normal spot, the cushiony couch on the corner. It was isolated from the rest of the library, and it was a silent law that freshmen or sophomores were not allowed to sit on it. She flipped through one of her favorite novels, written by John Green. Damon strolled into the area about 5 minutes later. He sat down next to her silently, and she continued to ignore him. "Whats this, like your 5th time reading that?" he asked. His question hung in the air, unanswered.

Elena closed the book and put it in the front pocket of her bag. "What the hell is going on, Damon?" she finally asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know anymore. I don't know what happened yesterday. I'm sorry for calling you Katherine, I really am. I have no idea where that came from."

"And the kiss?" she asked.

"I refuse to apologize for that. You cant even deny that there has been something between us for a while," he said, looking her right in the eye. Elena broke his gaze and began to fidget. "See? Why cant you just admit it?" he asked.

Elena shook her head before saying "Damon, I don't know-"

He cut her off, leaning over and putting his lips less than an inch away from her neck. "You're gonna tell me that this does nothing to you? You feel absolutely nothing right now?"

Elena bit her lip and looked at the ceiling. Of course she felt something, she had for years, but she couldn't tell him that. If they started a relationship and it ended, their friendship would be ruined. Elena sighed, pushing him off. "We can talk about us after."

"After what?" he asked.

"After this," she said, standing up and taking his hand. He stood up and she lead him down the hallway. "You're gonna talk." They were standing outside of the guidance counselors office.

"No, no Lena really. I've got it under control, we really don't need to be here, if my mom-" he began to ramble. His palms were already sweaty, his heart was now racing. He couldn't tell anyone about the cuts. No one would understand.

Elena rose on her tippy-toes, and kissed him softly. "You have to tell someone. I will talk to you about us, after you talk to someone about you. Ill sit with you the whole time," she explained.

Damon was in shock, had she really just blackmailed him? Maybe she was right, he started to consider telling someone.

"Damon, I just want to see you happy. And this is how you're gonna get there."

Damon nodded, knocking on the door. A short woman with curled blonde hair opened the door. "Mr. Salvatore! To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked.

Damon looked to Elena, unsure what to say. "Hi, Mrs. Palmer!" she said, hugging the woman.

"Elena honey! I didn't see you there! How are you sweetie? Come on in, tell me whats going on," she said. Elena had regularly seen Mrs. Palmer after her mother's death, because she needed someone to talk to.

"I'm alright, but Damon needs some help, and I thought who better than you?"

Mrs. Palmer blushed, sitting down at her desk. Damon and Elena sat in the two empty chairs in front of her desk. "Well, whats going on Damon?" she asked after a moment.

"Over the summer, I lost someone very close to me, and it was my fault. Katherine Pierce. Its my fault she died. Please don't try to tell me it wasn't, because it was," he started.

Mrs. Palmer looked at Elena, now concerned. "I doubt that sweetheart, that's just one of the normal effects of grief. I'm sorry, keep going."

"I felt horrible. I still do. All I can feel is pain. Some nights I cant sleep because all I see is her. I'm so depressed all the time, and all that I can feel is pain and guilt. So I thought maybe if I did this, I could feel a different kind of pain for a little while." He rolled up his sleeves, earning a gasp from the counselor. "It was a way to punish myself for not saving her. And I got hooked. I cant stop. Elena saw yesterday, and she dragged me here. I don't know what to do, I just want to feel okay again-" he broke off, now crying.

Elena held his hand again, slowly chanting "The hardest part is over, its all gonna be okay again soon, I promise, you're almost there."

"Damon, I am so sorry that you feel this way. I want you to know that you are not alone. You have a great support system between Elena and I. I assume we're the only ones who know?" Damon nodded. "Okay, well you were brave to tell us. And I thank you for that. You are loved, and you need to know that. We're gonna get you better, and you will feel okay again. I promise you that. Its not going to be easy, but I promise it will be worth it. The first step is telling me. Now, I am required by law to inform your parents," she explained.

"Parent," he said quietly. "My dads dead."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize. Can you write down your mother's number on this paper?" she asked, sliding a post-it and a pen across the table. "We're gonna give her a call, and ask her to come for a meeting. The three of us can come up with a game plan."

"Four," he corrected her. "I want Lena here."

"Well, normally I cant do that, but I suppose I could make an exception since you two are so close," she said, dialing the number.

Im so sorry I suck at updating so bad! Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter, but I have no idea when the next one is coming! I would also like to say that if any of you struggle with self harm or know someone who does, I strongly recommend seeing a school guidance counselor. Most who suffer from self-harm would not go as willingly as Damon did, but understand that it was necessary for the story.  
XOXO  
Kay


	6. Chapter 6

So its been a while, but this ones a little longer so yay! To the anon, I noted that at the end, and said I felt it was necessary to the story.

Mrs. Salvatore stood, shaking Mrs. Palmer's hand. "Thank you so much for everything, I'm gonna go home and make some phone calls now," she said through her remaining tears. Damon was staring at the ground, his hands folded.

Elena nudged him, smiling. "I am so proud of you," she mouthed. He sent her a small smile. The three walked out of the office and into the hallway of the school, on their way to the parking lot since the day was over. "Mrs. Salvatore? Do you mind if I bring Damon home later?"

The woman pursed her lips. "Mom, I'm alright. Let me go," Damon begged.

She nodded before saying "I want you home before 8."

Damon and Elena nodded in unison before climbing into her car. They sat in there while Elena fiddled with her mirrors and radio until Mrs. Salvatore was out of sight. Elena glanced over, a slow smile spreading across her face. "Whats that look?" Damon asked.

"This is the look of a girl who has never been happier, I'm so proud that you're being so responsible!"

Damon looked out the window before looking back at her, "Listen. I have scars. Im getting help. Can we stop talking about it? I just want to be us for tonight, no heavy topics."

Elena nodded, "Yeah sure, I get it. But just know, everything will turn out great, Mrs. Palmer is so sweet, you can tell her anything."

Damon nodded, "Yeah, I like her. But you broke the rules already," he chided.

"Fine. I promise not to talk about that tonight. Dinner. My treat. Where to?" She asked, plastering another smile on her face.

"I could just go for takeout, we could eat outside. Just not at the damned cemetery, this day has been depressing enough," he laughed at the last part.

"Your wish is my command," she said with a smile, turning the music up and pulling out of the school's parking lot.

"So I recall that someone in this car said they would talk about a serious matter if I got help. And I got help. So does anyone in this car want to talk about any serious and very interesting matters?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"Well played Salvatore, lets get dinner then get settled first, okay?"

He agreed, and they pulled into the pizzeria.

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Elena pulled into the parking lot near the river, which was about 4 miles from the falls. There was a small clearing on the river's edge, where they sat. "Heres your hero, and my ziti," she murmured mostly to herself while handing Damon his food.

"Thank you," he said, his voice raising on the last syllable. He looked her in the eyes, "Stop being such a seventh grader," they both smiled. "We're both mature responsible young adults. We can talk about this like mature responsible young adults. Right?" he asked. She nodded. "I'm gonna start talking, because you seem scared, which you shouldn't be. Okay. Here we go," he took a deep breath. "I have wanted to be more than friends with you for a while. A long while. It was a very long while, I can assure you of that," Elena began to laugh. "And you didn't seem interested, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship. In the meantime, I screwed around with Kat." Elena's jaw dropped. "I know, but it was nothing serious. I started feeling something for her, but I knew how unrealistic it was. We used each other. We drank, we talked, we kissed, we screwed, but it was far from love, despite how hard I tried to convince myself it was. Because maybe if it was love, it would be alright to do those things, when she was with Stefan. And I told you I loved her, because I looked pathetic, with you dating Matt and all. I'm telling you this because that and self-harm are the only two secrets I have ever kept from you. And nobody knows you better than me. I could take care of you. We could skip the awkward first dates and everything," he was smirking now.

Elena smiled, "Well I guess I should be honest too. I have felt something for you for a while, but you seemed so into Katherine that I didn't think it would be worth it to say anything. So I tried to move on with Donovan, then Stefan, oh and there was even a little Lockwood phase I never told you about,"

"Oh my god! What?! Elena Gilbert! You and _Lockwood?_ As in Tyler? Biggest douchebag to walk the face of this earth?!" Damon exclaimed through his laughter.

"He's not a douche bag! Alright, maybe a little. But still! Don't be so shocked!" Elena said, blushing now.

"Oh I'm not shocked Gilbert. I mean God you could get anyone, just look at you," he said, completely serious now.

Elena tucked her hair behind her ear, as she always did when she was flustered. "You're pretty good lookin' yourself Salvatore," she almost whispered.

He smiled, "I know," he sarcastically agreed.

Elena rolled her eyes, "Too bad your personality ruins it," she said before sighing.

"Does this make up for it?" he asked before leaning in to kiss her.

Elena dodged him, "Damon no, we cant."

He pulled back, looking at her with furrowed brows. "Why the hell not? We just had that whole conversation, I thought-"

"Damon, just because we both _want_ to be more than friends doesn't mean we should…I mean what if it ended badly? What would that do to you?" she regretted the words the minute she said them. "That came out wrong, I mean-"

Damon stood up, "No, its exactly what you meant. Little mentally unstable cutter Damon might kill himself if he didn't have you. You haven't done _shit_ for me in the past 2 months, and I'm still alive. So screw you Gilbert, I don't need you." He stormed off, headed towards the main road, where he could walk home from.

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit," Elena muttered to herself. She stood up, dusting off her pants and quickly cleaned up their dinner. She hopped in the car and drove on the path she knew Damon had took. She saw him walking quickly and slowed down, rolling down her window. "Damon, get in the car." He ignored her. "Damon, come on, hear me out!" she said, louder this time. He finally turned around.

"Elena, I need you to fucking trust me, and you obviously don't! So just leave me alone!" he said, turning back around and walking.

Elena completely stopped the car now. "Who said anything about trust? Damon, I'd trust you with my life, you know that."

Damon rolled his eyes, and sauntered towards the car. He climbed in the passenger seat and shut the door. "You think that if it ends badly, I'm going to hurt myself or do worse, correct?" he asked calmly.

"Well yeah, I guess so. But its not only that. I don't want to risk losing you, you're the only person who I've been friends with for so long, and I don't want to jeopardize that."

"Well, theres nothing I can do about that. I cant see the future, so I don't know if we're gonna break up in a day, a month, a year, or never. For all we know, we could be married with babies in 10 years. But I can promise you that I am going to try as hard as possible to recover from this," he motioned towards his wrist, "And I'm gonna fight. You heard her today, its not gonna happen overnight. Its gonna take time. I am going to relapse. But I am going to fight as hard as I can, to get better for you. You deserve someone strong, brave, happy and well, mentally stable. And you have no idea how bad I want to be that, and I will be. But I think we'd be stupid not to give this a chance. Its never going to be the perfect timing, that just isn't realistic. All I'm saying is I feel happy when I'm with you, and you seem happy when you're with me, and I think you could help me get through this. No pressure or anything, those are just my reasons."

Elena was speechless, she looked out the windshield trying to think of something to say. "Alright, well you're not talking, but I'm hoping its alright if I do this," Damon said, she could hear the smile in his voice as he leaned in to kiss her.

Ahh! So a little angsty, Im pretty happy with this chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed, leave reviews and favorite/follow!

XOXO,  
Kay


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! Okay, so last chapter we got a little angsty, but this one is pretty much fluff! So yay for Delena fluff!

Elena blushed, and kissed him back. It quickly turned to a make-out session, and after a while she pulled back. "You've got a curfew Damon, lets get you home," she said with a smile, starting the car again.

Damon laughed, "That _would _ be the first thing you said after that,"

"What am I supposed to say? I really like that little thing you do with your tongue?" she asked, not looking at him, her eyes focused on the road.

"Well, do you like that little thing I do with my tongue? Because I like when you play with my hair, its really cute,"

Elena laughed, "This is so weird! Us! I'm not complaining, but isn't it weird?" she asked, turning on the turn signal.

"It is, but I like it. I mean, everyone saw it coming. God, my mother's reaction should be pretty funny,"

"What are we gonna say? I mean, are we labeling this? Is it too soon?"

"Hmm…Good point. Well you're gonna have to tell Bon, and Care something, I know that much. And I gotta tell Stef. I don't know, do you like want to be my girlfriend?"

"How romantic of you Damon! Haha, I mean do you want to be my boyfriend? " she asked nervously. "I mean normally people wait to get to know eachother a bit, but we know eachother pretty well already, after like what 17 years?" she added.

"We are amazing at decision making. I mean, I feel like it would be very scandalous of us to just sneak around without a title," he said.

Elena laughed, "Well isn't my boyfriend a comedian!"

"Well isn't my girlfriend the only one who appreciates my humor!"

Elena pulled into his driveway, and leaned over to kiss him. "Wait, do you wanna come in?" he asked.

"Would your mom mind? Im sure you guys have stuff to discuss," she looked down at his wrist.

"I don't think she would. I'm gonna tell her everything I told you. I wanna push through this because of _you_ Elena. And I'm gonna tell her all of that, whether or not you want to be there is up to you. But I'm _certainly _not gonna discourage it."

"Um sure, I'll come then," she said as she unbuckled her seatbelt. She hopped out of the car, and took his hand in hers as they walked to the porch. He smiled at her as he fished in his pockets for his house key. After a minute he pulled it out, unlocked both locks and strided into the house.

"Mom! I'm home!" he called up the stairs as the small caramel colored puppy named Peppe jumped up to greet him.

Rose Salvatore walked out, hugging them both before saying, "It is 8:30 young man!" and lightly hitting Damon.

He laughed, "I know, I'm sorry, but we have a good reason and we want you to be the first to know. Come on, lets sit," he motioned towards the couch, where Elena sat next to him. His mother sat in the arm chair directly across from the couch.

"We?" she asked, noticing they had been holding hands the entire time.

"Yeah we. So Elena and I had a little chat, and we both decided we were boosting our friendship up a notch. If you know what I mean,"

Rose was initially horrified, "Damon, are you and Elena doing that thing kids do now a days? Oh whats it called, sex without feelings?" she asked, alarmed.

Elena laughed, "Friends with benefits? Of course not! Damon and I are dating, not sleeping together!"

"Yet," Damon added in a mock-whisper. Elena lightly hit him as his mother shot him daggers.

Rose turned back to Elena, "Well I think that is wonderful then! Congratulations to you both, and I wish you all the best!" she said with a smile. She had always loved Elena like a daughter, and was thrilled when Damon finally chose a nice girl. "So will you to be going to prom then?" she asked, her smile growing bigger.

"Mom, lets not get ahead of ourselves. That's like 9 months away, I don't wanna jinx this too early," he smiled, looking at Elena.

Elena stood up, "Well, I'm sure you two have things to discuss, so I think I'm gonna head home now," she said, walking over to hug Rose before she left.

"Goodbye Elena sweetheart, you two have made me so happy tonight," she whispered. Elena smiled, knowing the woman wasn't lying. "Damon, walk her to the car!" she ordered.

Damon stood, and followed Elena to the front door. He closed it behind him and immediately threw her over his shoulder the minute it closed. "We did it!" he screamed, walking her down the front steps.

"Damon put me down! You're gonna hurt yourself!" she shouted through her seemingly never-ending laughter.

He put her on her feet, and looked at her seriously. "Don't start with that, please,"

Elena pulled herself together, "Start with what?" she asked.

"That whole, I'm a teenage girl so I think I'm morbidly obese even when I run daily and have a killer body," he said with a smirk.

"I know I'm not obese, I just didn't want you to hurt yourself. You had me over your left shoulder. The one you broke when you and Stefan were playing football that time."

"How did you remember that when I forgot about it?" he asked.

"Eh, I know you better than you know yourself, one of the perks of dating your best friend," she said with a smile.

He picked her up from the waist, and carried her until her back touched her car door, "Well I'm alright Gilbert, thanks for looking out," he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her.

Elena cut the kiss short, "Your mother is going to kill you and I can hear my dad already," she smiled. She leaned in and pecked him one more time, "Okay, good night Damon!" she said before ducking out from under him and climbing into her car.

Damon shook his head smiling, not believing he had been so lucky. He walked back in to the house where his mother said, "Damon, can you sit with me?"

"Mom, I'm in a really good mood right now, and I really don't want to ruin it by talking about depressing stuff. I promise, I'm alright for now, I'm gonna be talking with Ms. Palmer everyday, and I will recover. But right now, I just want to go upstairs, call Stefan, shower, and go to bed."

"I know, but we have to talk eventually Damon," she chided.

"I will take you out to eat. Dinner date at the diner like we used to? We can talk there, how about Thursday night?" he asked.

Rose smiled, her and Damon had gone out to dinner at the diner every week when he was younger, until he decided it was lame and he was "too cool". "Deal!" she said as she turned on the television, flipping through channels.

Damon shouted, "Thanks mom!" as he ran up the stairs, already dialing his brother's number.

"Stefan's phone!" a female voice screamed into the phone, with loud music blasting in the background.

"Um, hi is Stefan there? Its his brother," he asked.

"Oh my god! Theres two of you? Do you guys look alike or are you hotter?" she asked, sounding a bit tipsy.

Damon smirked, "Well it all depends on preference," he started.

"Give me that," Stefan said in the background. "Damon! Hey buddy whats up? Give me a minute to get to the hall,"

"Hey Stef, is it a bad time or anything?"

"No not at all. Roommate is hosting a party and I left my phone in there. I literally cannot stand college parties. Everybody pretends they're drunk and sleeps with each other, so obnoxious. Anyway, what's up?"

"Well, I am in a relationship," Damon started.

"With Gilbert?!" Stefan interrupted.

"The one and only," Damon replied, Stefan could hear his smirk through the phone.

"Congratulations buddy! Aww man, I am so happy right now! Look at my little brother, growing the balls to tell a decent girl he wants to be more than friends, or even crazier, her saying yes! " he laughed.

"Yeah, what is that little thing she does with her hands on your neck when you kiss her though? No girl has ever done that, its so hot!"

Stefan laughed, "I do recall something of the sorts. Alright, so do you want to tell me why mom was crying earlier?"

Damon's heart sunk, he hadn't really thought of having to tell Stefan about it. "Um, she just got a call from school, everythings fine though," he said quickly.

"What did you do this time?" Stefan asked.

"I cut myself," Damon said simply, there was no use sugar coating it.

"In science or something? Did you need stitches?" Stefan asked, now confused.

"Nope, like on my wrists on purpose. Self-harm,"

"Oh my God, Damon, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to bother you, Lena found out the other day and flipped. She dragged me to Palmer's room and we all talked and shit. I'm gonna be fine though,"

"Damon, I am so sorry. I should have taken you more seriously when you called wanting to talk about Kat, is that why?"

"Uh, a little bit. I mean it's a lot of other things too, but I'm alright. I'm gonna push through for Lena."

Stefan smiled, "Well that's good. I'm glad you have her then. Listen, I have this huge paper due tomorrow and I haven't even started, so I have to go do that. But I'm always here if you wanna talk, need girl advice or you're feeling down or anything. I'll be home Columbus weekend, so like a month. See you then, night Damon!"

"Night Stef," Damon said, clicking the end button. He smiled before tossing his phone on the bed, walking towards the shower.

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Dont forget to leave your reviews, favorite and follow! Thank you!

XOXO,

Kay!


	8. Chapter 8

Elena woke up the next morning, showered and blow dryed her hair. She had decided to wear another short skirt after fighting with her father yet again the night before. He had lectured her on how she needed to come home more often, and she needed to stop skipping practices. She had rolled her eyes, if he only knew why she had been out every night. Her skirt was a light brown a-line, which made her long legs look longer. She wore a simple white blouse, and knee high burgundy socks with a pair of ballet flats. She wore her hair down and applied minimal makeup, and walked to her car with her school bag in one hand, and her duffel bag for cross country in the other. She decided to call Damon to see if he wanted a ride, she was running ahead of schedule today, a rarity for her. "Hey, its Lena. I'm leaving my house now, be outside in 2 minutes," she said the moment he answered.

"Demanding, wow," he sarcastically said, although he was still groggy.

Elena laughed, "I'll see you soon,"

"I'm looking forward to it," he said. She could practically hear the smirk in his voice as she clicked the end button. She pulled out of the driveway and was in front of Damon's house in 2 minutes as she had promised. She decided to put the car in park, he had always taken forever to get ready. Ten minutes later he ran out to the car, greeting her with a kiss. "Good morning," he said.

"Hi. I was hoping to go get coffee or something but you know, someone needs to do their hair and makeup which takes about 7 hours, so we're running late," she replied before attempting a crooked smile of her own.

"Oh hush, the hair is so worth it. You love it. You cant even admit you don't like it," he said, nudging her arm.

Elena laughed, "Stop that, I'm driving!"

Damon turned on the radio, and started singing off-key to Icona Pop's "I don't care," forcing Elena to laugh even more.

They pulled into the senior parking lot, and quickly walked into the school. They had walked in laughing and holding hands, which Caroline had seen. "Oh my God! Delena is happening?!" she shrieked down the hall.

Elena rolled her eyes with a smile, "You have a name for us already? Seriously?"

"Oh my god, you aren't denying it! Salvatore! Ahhhhh! I'm so happy right now you don't even know!" Caroline continued to fangirl.

"Ring. Oh no, is that the bell? Guess we gotta run!" Damon said before leading Elena down the hall where they had originally been going. "One down, one to go. Bonnie," he said, smiling and raising his eyebrows.

"We handled that pretty well," Elena noted before going on her toes to kiss Damon. The actual bell rang and they walked a little faster to get to their class.

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Damon and Elena sat in their normal spot in the cafeteria, at a table with Bonnie, Matt, Caroline, and Tyler. Caroline had a huge smile on, and Elena rolled her eyes with a smile of her own. "Alright, whats going on?" Bonnie finally asked.

Damon and Elena looked at each other smirking before leaned in and kissed her. Bonnie gasped before Damon said, "Yeah so we're a thing now, get the squeals out of your system even though Barbie squealed enough for all of Mystic Falls already."

"Congrats man!" Matt and Tyler said in unison, each giving Damon a high five.

"Aww, guys! I'm so happy, Elena has been in love with you for like ever, Damon. She used to say at sleepovers that-" Bonnie began before Elena clamped a hand over her mouth.

"And that's enough from the Bennett for today!" she announced in a mock sportscaster voice.

The table resumed their normal conversation, discussing everything from the latest gossip to college plans. They had all sent in applications and were waiting for responses back.

After lunch, Damon and Elena walked back upstairs when she asked "So um, cross country today?" with a hopeful smile.

Damon thought about it for a minute before nodding. "Alright, fine. Just for you though

Gilbert."

Elena laughed, "Liar! You love the sport, don't pretend you hate it!"

"Yeah, I know. I'm ready to get back, I miss it," he said as he walked with her to her next class. He had a meeting with Mrs. Palmer while Elena was in English, which was her last class.

Forty two minutes later Elena stormed out of the English room as the bell rang. She met Damon in the hallway where he began singing, "Its cro-oh-oh-oh-oss country time, cro-oh-oh-oh-oss country time, on the track, on the track," to the tune of "Peanut Butter Jelly Time." Elena didn't even smirk, she just walked along side him, slamming her foot with each step. He finally stopped, realizing she was in a bad mood. "Oh Lord, whats wrong?" he asked.

Elena looked up at him, on the verge of tears. "She gave me an eighty five. AN EIGHTY FIVE!" she shouted.

Damon tried his hardest not to laugh, "On your essay? Good job babe," he said, thinking it was the right thing to say. He was wrong.

"An eighty five is NOT okay Damon! An eighty five is NOT going to get me on high honor roll! Shit, my dads gonna kill me, I worked so fucking hard on that damn essay, she should learn how to teach-" she began to rant.

Damon silenced her with a kiss, "Its okay. Its one essay, you have the rest of the year to do better. Now calm down, go get dressed, and then we'll go to practice together. Okay?" he asked, handing her her duffel bag from her locker.

Elena nodded, taking the bag from his hands and walking towards the locker room. He finally let himself laugh, and shook his head. Elena had always been so obsessed with perfection, from grades to sports, even in art class. Damon never really cared, he was happy as long as he passed. He grabbed his own duffel bag and changed, then waited for her outside of the locker room. She emerged 2 minutes later, in black spandex and a fitted bright pink tank top. Her long hair was in a high pony tail, with a pink headband to match. She wore her signature sneakers, with pink laces and smiled. "Too much?" she asked, motioning towards the pink.

Damon shook his head, "Not at all," he said, while greatly appreciating the spandex.

Elena noticed he kept looking at her spandex, which were a little shorter than they should have been. She decided to let him look, she didn't really care. "We're gonna be late, lets go," she said, walking towards the school's side door.

"Well if someone didn't take 7 hours to get ready," he said in a high pitched voice, mocking Elena from that morning.

"I think you and I both know you appreciate it." Elena said, making a clear effort to walk in front of him now.

Ahh! So I hope you guys liked this, don't forget to follow, review, and recommend! Thanks for reading!  
XOXO,  
Kay


	9. Chapter 9

Warning: This chapter is a bit gruesome, and may be hard for some of you to read..

For mature audiences only.

**Thursday**

"I'm freaking out about that meet next week," Elena said, fiddling with her hair and looking at the ground as she always had when she was nervous.

"You have absolutely no reason to be. You'll be fine, I promise," Damon said, taking her hand in his as they walked towards her car after practice.

"You have to say that. We have to stop at like McDonalds or something on the way home, I'm craving it and my dads on another health kick."

"Sounds good," Damon replied, opening his car door.

Elena opened her car door and climbed into the drivers seat, and adjusted her mirrors before starting the car. As she turned the key, the engine sputtered. "Are you freaking kidding me?" she groaned.

Damon laughed, "I got it," he said before climbing out of the car and opening the hood. He closed it and climbed back into the car, saying "Yeah, sorry I know nothing about cars. I just thought it'd be cute if I was chivalrous." He flashed a crooked smile.

Elena turned the key again, and the engine suddenly roared to life. She shrugged, and pulled out of the school parking lot. They talked about homework and classes, making small talk before she pulled into the McDonald's parking lot. She fumbled in her bag and eventually pulled out a small Vera Bradley wallet, unclicked her seatbelt, and got out of the car. Damon had sat still, staring into space for a moment, clearly thinking about something. Elena walked around the car and knocked on his window, and he smiled in response. "Sorry," he apologized, jumping out of the car.

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"Well that was fun. I'm so happy that you're running again, be good tonight! See you tomorrow!" Elena said, slowing down as she pulled in front of his house.

Damon laughed before asking, "In a rush to get me out of here Gilbert?" as he leaned in to kiss her.

"No, but your mother is. I mean I'm all for making out with you, it's a great hobby but I cant see her wanting to watch that. And I don't like the idea of her watching it. So bye!" she said, pecking his cheek and unlocking the door.

His mother was waiting for him with the door open, he sighed knowing they would have the dreaded talk. "Bye," he said, rolling his eyes while flashing his signature smirk. He climbed out of the car, grabbed his bag from the backseat and walked up the pathway into the house. He turned to wave to Elena, who waved back and drove away. "Hello mother," he tried.

"Damon, where the hell were you? You said you would be home right after school!" she said the second he closed the door.

"Jeez, I never said that. I went out to McDonalds with Elena. Whats the big deal?" he asked, sounding incredibly like a stereotypical teenager.

"The big deal is I'm worried about you Damon. My son locks himself up in his room, then I find out he hurts himself, and now he's just over the moon with his girlfriend and refusing to talk to me. That's the big deal. This isn't okay. You have to tell me whats making you do this to yourself, this isn't normal Damon. You need to open up. We have to talk, whats going on?" she asked.

Damon laughed bitterly, "This is exactly why I didn't tell anyone! Because none of you understand!" he screamed, running up the stairs and slamming his door. He pulled out his blade which he had never removed from under his mattress, then blasted his music. He replaced fading scars with bright pink ones, which soon turned red with blood. He eventually threw the blade across the room, letting himself break. He sat and cried alone, leaning against the bed, not only his wrists, but also his thighs still covered in blood, which was much further than he had ever gone before. "I don't know anything anymore, I don't even know myself" he mumbled. He eventually fell asleep that way, on the floor of his bedroom covered in blood.

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Damon's mother had cried in the kitchen, hearing his music, wondering what he was doing. She knew he would lash out even more if she went upstairs, and didn't know if she could risk that. She called Elena and asked her to come over, which she did.

"Hi Rose, is everything alright?" Elena asked as she walked through the front door.

"I'm not sure, but he's angry with me, and I don't know what hes doing in there, and I feel like you would be able to get through to him better than I could right now. His door is locked, but I have a key if you need it," she explained, handing Elena the key.

Elena nodded, and walked solemnly up the stairs. She knocked on the door, shouting over his music, "Damon, its Lena, open up!"

After a minute or so with no response, Elena decided to use the key. She slowly opened the door, and saw Damon, in a pool of his own blood on the floor. "Damon!" she screamed, in a panic. Tears began to stream down her face, "Don't be dead don't be dead don't be dead please don't be dead" she chanted as she ran towards him. She found a pulse at his neck but knew he had lost a lot of blood. Rose had been making her way up the stairs to see what was wrong when Elena told her to call an ambulance. She sat, playing with his hair, sitting in silence with him and her tears as he slept.

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Damon woke up in a white room, and he had no idea where he was. He sat up in a panic, and saw his mother sitting next to him, crying.

"Damon, thank God," she whispered, holding his hand in hers and kissing it.

"What the hell happened?" he asked.

"You were in your room, and I was worried but figured you'd be angry if I went in. So I sent Elena up, and you were on your floor covered in blood-" she began to explain.

"Elena saw that? Where the hell is she?" Damon roared, in a panic of his own now.

"She's in the cafeteria, she went to get us coffee, they didn't think you'd be awake yet,"

Damon ripped the IV out of his arm and bolted out of the room. He ran into her outside of the room, where he simply held her. "I am so sorry, Lena I don't know what to say," he whispered as she held him closer than ever before. His face was buried in her hair, his arms holding her tight.

"Damon- I thought-" she tried to speak between her waves of cries. Seeing him and the scars had riled her up, just when she managed to calm herself down.

"I am so sorry you saw that, damn it I'm an asshole," he mumbled.

Elena wiped the tears from her face and faked a smile. She held his hand and led him back into the room. "Look who I found running around here," she said, her voice shaking.

Rose hugged them both, "I guess I should give you two a minute, I'll go fill out some papers."

Damon laid back down on his bed, pulling Elena with him to lie next to him. She pulled herself up to him, her head laying on his chest. She was crying again, but now out of relief.

Damon was worried for Elena, because something similar had happened when her mother died. Elena had come home from school in the sixth grade to find her mother passed out on the bed, and had tried to wake her up, but she had been dead for hours. She had a heart attack in the middle of the day, and Elena had been in therapy for years after that. Damon was panicking, not wanting her to go through that again.

"Don't leave me," she whispered.

"Never," he replied.

So theres chapter nine, Im actually crying writing this. Now you know a bit of Elena's backstory, and I hope you all know that relapse is a normal part of recovery, and if any of you struggle with self-harm, feel free to message eme. Also, I know Rose said Damon wasnt normal because he self-harmed, and that is HER opinion, not mine. I do not share those views, but I feel like it added to the story more. Thank you, please favorite/follow/review!

XOXO,  
Kay


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello lovelies! Thank you all so much for following and leaving reviews, they make me so happy! Heres chapter 10, Im pretty happy with this one!**

Elena woke up at exactly 3:09am, in tears. She had yet another dream that Damon had killed himself, and there was no consoling her. She tried to go back to sleep, but failed miserably. Elena spent the night staring at the ceiling, thinking about how different things could have been had she not lost her mother, or what would have happened if she had lost Damon. 3 more hours slowly passed, and Elena decided to get dressed for school. She pulled her long hair into a bun, and wore leggings with an oversized sweatshirt. She ate silently and alone in the kitchen before driving to pick up Damon.

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"Good morning babe," Damon said, kissing her cheek as he climbed into the car next to her.

"Hey," Elena replied, nearly emotionless as she pulled out of the driveway.

"How late were you up last night? English essay?" Damon asked, knowing that she obviously hadn't slept.

"I went to bed pretty early actually," she said, pretending to be one hundred percent focused on the road, though her mind was a million other places.

Damon finally put the pieces together, and bit his lower lip, angry at himself for putting her through this. "They're back, aren't they?" he asked.

"Whats back?" she asked, knowing exactly what he was referring to, but hoping to avoid the conversation.

"The dreams."

"Everybody dreams Damon, its human nature, like find me a person that doesn't dream. You cant, because everybody does it, consciously or unconsciously," she began to ramble, still trying to avoid the subject.

"Pull over," he commanded. Elena sighed, but pulled over. "Now tell me, whats been keeping you up all week?" he asked, holding her hand.

Elena tried to speak normally, but her voice broke in half as she simply said, "You."

Damon sighed, feeling a wave of guilt crash over him. He should have known sooner, of course she was damaged from seeing him that way, who wouldn't be? He wrapped his arms around his sobbing girl, whispering words of comfort into her hair as she cried.

Elena pulled out from his arms after a few minutes, "What would have happened if you died Damon?" she asked. He looked down, knowing that he couldn't answer the question for her. "I love you," she whispered.

Damon felt the urge to kick down a door as his body no longer flowed with blood, but with rage. Of course their first _I love you_ had been because he was like this. "Elena, I love you too sweetheart, I don't know what happened," he tried. In all honesty, he had no idea what to say. Of course he wanted to live for her, he would do anything for her. But the demons inside wouldn't. The voice in his head that reminded him of Katherine couldn't care less. His guilt had consumed him, he had ended the life of one girl, and was now ruining the life of another.

"Damon, you have so much here. You have so many people who love you, who care about you, who would be so lost without you," she whispered.

"I'm just so fucking guilty." He finally spoke the truth. "Its my fault that Katherine is dead. Its my fault that my mom cries every night. Its my fault that Stefan is like a whole new person. I'm the one ruining your life. Its not fair to anyone, who am I benefitting by living here?" he asked.

"Damon, you are _not_ ruining my life. You _are _my life. You're all I've got. I have nobody, I don't get along with my father, Jeremy just smokes all day, you're all I have. I cant afford to lose you. What ever happened to fighting for me? I need you Damon, and I need you to be okay-" she was interrupted by a screaming Damon.

"You think I'm not trying? You think I _want_ to be like this? You think I got home the other night and said hmmm, should I watch some TV or cut myself, almost to the point of my death? I thought you were the only one who got it, and you clearly don't. Sorry I'm not the guy you need right now, selfish bitch." He climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind him.

Elena burst into tears, slamming her head in frustration on the back of her seat. When she could see clearly again, she turned around and drove home, knowing she wouldn't make it through school today.

Damon had walked home, it was closer than the school, and he needed time to cool down before he saw anyone else.

Elena sat in her room, writing in her journal before deciding to drive back to Damon's. She rang his doorbell, 4 shopping bags full of his favorite snacks in tow. When he didn't answer, she figured he was ignoring her, and used the house key she had been given years ago. The door creaked open, and the house was deafeningly silent. "Damon?" she called. When she got no response, she burst into tears, threw the bags and sprinted up the stairs into his bedroom. She nearly tore the door off of it's hinges, only to find him laying in silence on the bed, with headphones in. He looked up at her crying, took the headphones out and held her, where they stood in silence for a few minutes. "I thought you-" she choked out.

"I know, I know and I'm sorry. But we need to talk."

Elena nodded, and wiped the tears from her face. Damon began to walk downstairs, where he found food thrown about the landing. "I was in a bit of a rush," Elena said, bending down to clean the mess up.

"Just leave it, that isn't important. Come, sit," he motioned towards the couch where they sat together. "You need to understand something. I love you, so much. I always have and I always will. Nothing could ever change that. But I'm not okay. And hiding it and lying about it and pretending it isn't happening clearly solves nothing. I had no intentions of killing myself last week, but I nearly did. That isn't okay. I wouldn't have been able to see you smile, or hear you laugh, or marry you one day, and that isn't okay. I need to go Elena. Mrs. Palmer suggested a rehab kinda thing the other day, and today made me realize I need to go. I mean, you get scared knowing I'm home alone, and that's not okay. Because I know the feeling of fear, and I know the feeling of guilt. And you being the angel you are would feel guilty if I killed myself. You would find a way to blame yourself. So I'm leaving tomorrow morning. Its all set up."

Elena was speechless, it was a lot of information to take in at once. She simply nodded before asking, "Where is it? How long?" in a hushed voice.

"Its only a half hour away. I'm gonna be there at least a month, but you can visit me every weekend if you wanted to. I don't expect you to do anything though, you don't have to call, write, visit, or even wait for me. This is your chance to get out. No feelings hurt."

Elena smiled, "Theres no one else I would rather call or write or visit or wait for Damon. I said I loved you, and I meant it. I still do. I love you Damon, and I'm gonna miss you so much, but I know this is what you need. We waited what, 17 years to get together? I don't think a month is going to kill us."

He tucked her hair behind her ear, and kissed her. Before they knew it, Elena was laying on top of Damon, who was pulling her top off. "Do you want to do this?" he asked.

Elena ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it out of her face. "Do you have anything?" she asked.

"Fuck. Nope," he said, clearly disappointed.

"Oh shit. Well this sucks," Elena said, climbing off of him and pulling her shirt down.

"You're telling me, Gilbert," he said before sighing.

"Sorry, but I'm not risking having a mini Damon walking around. Not yet."

"Yeah I know. But it wouldn't be a mini Damon. It'd be a mini…ahh shit what was Barbie saying? Oh yeah! Mini Delena! That would be so cute, a little thing, bossing everyone around," he said with a smirk, knowing it would set her off.

"I'm not bossy! I don't know why you always say that! Ugh, lets go get you packed Salvatore," she said, walking towards the staircase.

Damon laughed, "Yes master," before following her.

**So there you go! Sorry if I got you excited for DE sex, but I feel its too soon, and wasnt the right time! (and im just a mean mean author ;)) Hope you all enjoyed, please leave reviews, and follow/favorite!  
XOXO,  
Kay**


	11. Chapter 11

"Well, you're all set," Elena said, putting his last bag in his car.

"I'll see you Saturday?" he asked.

Elena smiled, "Every week."

"Damon, we gotta go honey," Rose called from the front seat.

"I need you to know a few things. I love you so much, more than you could ever know, and I'm gonna get through this for you Gilbert."

"I love you too Damon, and I'm gonna be here every step of the way," she replied, standing on her toes to hug him goodbye. "See you on Saturday, its only 3 days away," she said with a smile, though he could tell she was holding back tears.

"Oh, um Mom, I forgot a bag. Elena, come with me to go get it," he said, grabbing her hand and walking into the house.

Rose laughed from the car, "You two are so obvious! Just kiss here, I wont look!"

Damon glared at his mother and walked Elena into the house. He kissed her with more passion than he knew he was capable of. "I love you," he reminded her, pulling her closer to him by her waist. Elena nodded, and Damon noticed a tear fall down her face. "Aww Lena, don't cry. Three days, and we'll be together again, I promise."

Elena smiled through her tears, "I know, I just suck at goodbyes," she said before taking his wrist and kissing it. "I love you too Salvatore, but you're gonna be late."

Damon stood, in shock for a moment. Of course he didn't mind that she kissed his scars, but he was overwhelmed. It was the first time he had really picked up on how much she loved him. He smiled, and led her to her car before climbing into his own. Each car pulled out of the driveway, going in separate directions.

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"Hey Lena," Caroline said as she sat down at the lunch table. "Wheres lover boy?" she asked sarcastically, glancing at Damon's empty chair.

Elena was unsure of what to say, she didn't know if Damon would be okay with anyone else knowing. "Oh, um Damon? He's," she paused, "He's visiting Stefan! Yeah, he missed him so hes gonna surprise him." Elena was relieved that she had been able to think quickly, though Caroline saw right through her.

"Alright, you're hiding something, I won't bug you though. But don't think I don't know you're lying, because I do." Caroline smiled.

The conversation changed topics, and nobody mentioned Damon the rest of the period, much to Elena's relief.

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Damon unpacked his bag, in a small room with white walls. The room was mostly empty, it had a twin sized bed, a chest of drawers, and a small desk. He took out a small picture frame, with a picture of him and Elena in it, and put it next to his bed. After that, he unpacked the clothing he had brought, and decided to try and socialize. He was in a wing with other teenagers with similar problems, and they had nightly meetings together. He walked down the wing, looking at everyone's name tag on the door. As he neared the end of the hall, he heard someone approaching him. "Hi, my name is Rebekah, I'm here for self harm. Who are you, and why are you here?" a small blonde asked very bluntly.

"Hi, I'm Damon and I'm here for that too," he said, looking around and shifting uncomfortably.

Rebekah laughed, "I just have to get that out of the way early, I'm really not that rude. I live here year round, my parents cant really handle me," she rolled her eyes, "so I'm kinda the captain of the floor," she said with a smile.

Damon smiled, "Oh, that's some title. So what do you do?"

"I organize little parties and stuff for us to do. It can be a little lonely, most of us don't have our phones. You?"

Damon shook his head and sighed, wishing he could talk to Elena. "I have to see a Dr. Fell in like 10 minutes, could you show me her office?"

"Absolutely, its this way," Rebekah said, trying to hold his hand to lead him. Damon awkwardly put his hands in his pocket before Rebekah asked, "So, life at home?"

"Well, its just me and my mom, my brother went to college and my dad died so yeah."

"Sorry to hear that, and social life? Sports or clubs or anything fun?"

Damon smiled, "I ran cross country, because my girlfriend basically forced me to. Its alright though, I love it."

Rebekah's smile shrunk noticeably in size. "Oh, you have a girlfriend at home?" she asked, sounding disappointed.

"Yes ma'am I do. Elena Gilbert, best friend slash girlfriend. It is possible to get out of the friend zone! Who knew?" he asked rhetorically.

Rebekah laughed, "Well, here you are," she said, motioning towards the door. "Have fun, first session is always most uncomfortable." She patted his shoulder and walked away.

Damon thought for a minute before opening the door, had she been flirting with him? He shrugged and knocked on Dr. Fell's door, ready to begin his first session.

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Elena turned up the music in her car on the ride home from practice, the car seemed so eerily quiet. When she arrived home she decided to surprise her dad and Jeremy with dinner. Although she couldn't cook, she was able to cook the simple dish of spaghetti and meatballs. Elena waited, and kept everything warm for about an hour before calling her father. She sighed and shut everything off when he told her he would be home at 10, because he was out with his colleagues. She called Jeremy next, who sounded higher than a kite on the phone. She walked up the stairs, took out her laptop, and opened word. She began typing her first letter to Damon.

_Dear Damon,  
I miss you already. Practice was fine, but it wasn't the same without you. A thirty minute run goes by a lot slower when you're alone, as I found out today. I made dinner though! I successfully made spaghetti and meatballs, but nobodys home to eat it. So I ate some then put the rest in the fridge. Arent you proud though? You taught me how to make pasta, and when I tried it on my own I didn't burn the house down! I'm really proud! Caroline asked where you were today, and I panicked so I told her you were visiting Stefan. She said she knew I was lying, but she would let it slip because I probably had a reason. I hope all is well with you, and this is a really shitty letter so sorry! I cant wait until Saturday, we're gonna have so much fun. I'll bring my laptop so you can go on tumblr and facebook and whatever you want. And I'll also wear that perfume you like, provided you wear my favorite axe. God, that smells so good. Alright, see you soon.  
Love always,  
Lena_

She printed the letter out, sprayed it with the perfume she mentioned and put it in an envelope. She put a stamp on it, and threw it on top of her bag so she would remember to mail it in the morning.

Theres chapter 11! Did you guys like the going back and forth or no? Sorry this was a pretty uneventful chapter, but I promise the next one will be good. It'll take place on Saturday, when she visits him. She'll also be meeting Rebekah, so it should be a fun chapter! Please review, avorite and follow! I love hearing your suggestions, so leave them whenever you have one!  
XOXO,

Kay


	12. Chapter 12

Elena woke up to the sound of her alarm clock beeping, and groaned when she saw it said 7:30. When she realized it was Saturday, she nearly jumped out of bed and shut the clock off, ready to see Damon. She threw a pair of jeans and a sweater on her bed before getting in a warm shower.

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Damon woke up around 8 o'clock, and decided to shower. He was excited to see Elena, but also a bit nervous. Would she feel strange seeing him in a place like this? What would they really do all day? Questions floated through his mind as he put on a black shirt and a pair of jeans.

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Elena pulled her sweater on and laced up her combat boots after doing her hair and makeup and went to the kitchen. She rolled her eyes when she saw a note on the counter from her father saying he had been asked to go on a business trip and couldn't refuse so he would be gone all weekend. She left a note of her own telling Jeremy where she was and grabbed a bagel for the car ride.

It was about a half hour car ride, but since it was so early on a Saturday, Elena made it in 20 minutes. She checked her makeup a final time, and walked confidently into the main office. "I'm here to see Damon Salvatore," she announced to the woman at the front desk.

"Sure, I'm just gonna need you to fill out this form if you aren't family," the woman explained, sliding a clipboard towards Elena.

"Nope, I'm just the girlfriend," Elena smiled before working on the sheet. After a few minutes the woman was able to tell Elena where to go, and asked if she wanted Damon to be called down. "Nah, I'll surprise him. Thanks though!" she replied before walking towards his wing.

She found his door, complete with a stick figure drawing of him, with a small label saying his name. She knocked on the door twice before opening it, and finding Damon half asleep on his bed with a small blonde screaming at him. "Damon! Damon you're gonna sleep through Elena being here? Really? Wake up you lazy bum!" she screamed while shaking him. Elena laughed, and they both turned to face her. "Oh my God, hi you're here! I'm guessing you are the famed Elena, I'm Rebekah!" she said, extending her hand.

Elena shook her hand, "Nice to meet you Rebekah."

"Well, I'll leave you two then, it was nice meeting you Elena!" she said before leaving the room.

Elena looked at Damon, who had been smiling at her from his bed the entire time. She ran across the room and jumped on the bed next to him. They hugged the best they could while lying down, before Damon kissed her. "Hi Gilbert," he said pulling her as close as he could.

"Hi," Elena said, blushing.

"I missed you so much, you don't even know. How's everything been?" he asked.

"Everythings better now," she said intertwining his fingers with her own. "How're you doing?"

"I'm actually doing better. I mean, its like a Nazi camp or something here, they're always checking that we haven't done anything or whatever but its good. They mean well."

Elena smiled, "I'm glad. So what are we gonna do today?" she asked.

"There's not much _to _do here, my dear. We're really just chilling in here all day."

"Alright, I'm cool with that," Elena hopped off the bed and walked to the desk where she had left her bag.

"Whatcha doing?" Damon asked as Elena pulled out a bright blue book.

"Remember when you would read the textbook out loud to me, and I would answer all the questions on the packet and then you'd copy it in the 8th grade?"

Damon smiled, "Yes, I do."

"Well, I've been in love with the way you read since then. So you're going to read to me." She smiled innocently, passing him the book.

Damon slid on the bed so he was closer to the wall and sat up a bit. Elena curled up next to him, her head on his chest as he began to read to her. After about an hour, Damon read her favorite line, which had been highlighted, "I fell in love the way you fall asleep, slowly then all at once." He looked down, and noticed that she had actually fallen asleep. He smiled, and watched her for a few minutes, she looked so peaceful and beautiful. Her eyes flashed open, her hands pulling on his shirt. "I'm here, I'm here," he whispered, playing with her hair.

Elena choked back tears, she didn't want to upset him, but her dreams still hadn't stopped. She eventually collected herself enough to speak, when she said "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," and walked out of the room. Damon sighed, wishing she would talk to him but knowing she wouldn't. Elena leaned against the door of her stall and sobbed, letting everything come out.

She heard a knock at the door before hearing, "Is everything alright?"

Elena attempted to stabilize her breathing enough to say she was fine, but she couldn't. "Its alright, open the door, its Rebekah," the voice said. Elena wiped away her tears, and tried to prevent more from coming out as she opened the door. "Elena! Whats wrong? Do I need to kick Damon's ass?" Rebekah asked, shocked that Elena was the one crying, she assumed it would be a patient.

Elena smiled and shook her head, "Nah, I've got that one all covered."

"What did he do? He can be such a dick sometimes, I'm sorry, hes just going through a lot right now-" Rebekah tried to explain before Elena cut her off.

"No, he's being the perfect gentleman, hes great right now. I just fell asleep and I had this dream, really I'm fine. It was just a dream," Elena attempted to flash Rebekah a convincing smile, but Rebekah saw right through her.

"What happened in your dream?"

Elena sighed, knowing she wasn't getting off that easy. "Damon killed himself, and I was lost without him and it was brutal. But clearly he's alive and well, so I'm gonna go spend time with him now," she tried to walk out of the bathroom.

Rebekah grabbed her arm, "Elena, you need to talk to someone about this."

Elena rolled her eyes, "They're dreams. I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal over them! Help Damon, that's what would really help me." She pulled her arm back and walked back to the room, to find Damon sitting on his bed, his legs dangling off the side. "Hey, sorry I got a little lost and everything, but I'm back! So where were we?" she asked, picking up the book.

"Elena," Damon started, taking the book from her. "Whats going on?"

"Damon, I really just want to enjoy today. Don't start,"

"Don't start?!" he said, almost screaming. "Elena, theres a problem when you wake up like that, how often has that been happening?" Elena started crying, and Damon wrapped his arms around her. "Its alright, I'm here, but you gotta tell me what's going on so I can help you," he whispered, playing with her hair.

"Its about 2 or 3 every night, I find you and you're actually dead, and I don't know what to do with myself," she admitted quietly.

Damon tilted her head up so she was looking at him. "I'm alive, I'm not dying for a while. I wont be dead till you or your father get enough sense to kill me one day," he flashed his crooked smile, and it worked.

Elena smiled, "I'll wait till you're old and rich. Money for me." Damon picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, "Watch your freaking shoulder!" Elena screamed through her laughter.

"What'd you say Gilbert? You're never getting rid of me!" he said, putting her down on his bed, and kissing her. "Come on, stand up now," he said seriously, holding his hand out to her after they had both stopped laughing.

"Where are we going?" Elena asked, already knowing the answer, and dreading it.

"You are going to talk to Dr. Fell, because I need you having sweet dreams again."

Elena was about to fight, but realized he was right. She knew he would feel guilty if she didn't talk to someone, so she just followed him down a long hallway.

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Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for all the reviews, keep them coming! Dont forget to favorite and follow this story! Love you all!

XOXO,  
Kay


	13. Chapter 13

So so so sorry for such a late update! Enjoy!

"Okay, thank you," Elena said as she stood up, taking the forms from Dr. Fell. Damon, who had been quietly sitting next to Elena the whole session stood up with her, still keeping to himself.

"So make sure you send these back, we can meet weekly and work on your problems, and I don't think you'll even need medication this time around," Dr. Fell explained, referring to when Elena was on meds after her mother's death.

"Great, thanks again," Elena said, as she walked out of the room, her hand intertwined with Damon's.

"You did it," he whispered, pressing her against the wall and kissing her the moment Dr. Fell's door closed. Elena kissed him briefly before pulling back and continuing to walk back to his room in silence. "Are you alright?" Damon asked, now confused.

Elena shook her head, and picked up her pace, anxious to get to his room. He matched her strides, and within a minute they had the door closed. When Damon turned from locking the door, he saw Elena sitting on his bed bawling. He sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her and letting her cry for a while.

"What if you had actually died?" she choked out.

Damon sighed, "I'm not going anywhere-"

She cut him off, "Damon, what if I were dead? What if I had killed myself and you found me in my bedroom? What would you do?"

"Please don't make me think about that."

"Exactly. I _have _to think about that every single night. And I get so scared, because-"

"I know, but is gonna take care of that, you'll be back to dreaming of this," Damon said, lifting the hem of his shirt, revealing his abs with a smirk.

"Damon," she sighed.

Pulling out the signature smirk he asked, "What?!" referring to her tone.

Elena stuttered in frustration, "What the hell is wrong with you? You cant take anything seriously! Its all a big joke to you. Real funny when your girlfriend is sobbing alone every night over you, isn't it Damon? Its just hysterical then!" she screamed as she collected her things which were scattered throughout the room.

Damon tried not to laugh, "Oh c'mon Lena, lighten up, don't go," he said, earning no response from her. "Are you serious right now? You're really gonna pick a fight with me on our weekend together? I just got you help, what else do you want me to do? Sorry I self harmed and it emotionally scarred you, its been such a better time for me."

Elena's jaw dropped, "Don't you _dare_ play that card. You know I love you and I have been here the entire time. You didn't even tell me, I found out on my own and I helped you and believe me, that wasn't easy. I have supported you every single step of the way, and all I'm asking for is a little support back. I cant fucking deal with this right now, maybe I'll pop my head in next week after my appointment. Goodbye Damon." She turned on her heel, storming out of the room.

Damon sighed, running into the hallway, "Lena, Lena wait!" he called after her.

Although she heard him she continued to walk, needing time to herself. How did he find any of this funny? She didn't need him joking, she needed his support.

Damon shook his head and walked back into the room, where he jumped onto his bed. He simply stared at the ceiling, clearing his mind of all thoughts.

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"Are you freaking kidding me?" Elena mumbled, repeatedly attempting to start the car. She reclined the seat and laid down in the car, crying for the umpteenth time that day. She didn't know how she felt at the time in relation to anything, and desperately needed a break. She turned the key and smiled when the engine finally roared to life. Before pulling out, she checked her wallet. Her fake ID was inside, behind her real one, giving her another reason to smile. She dialed Caroline's number, hoping she would pick up.

"Hello?" an overly happy voice answered.

"Care! Its Lena, I'm in desperate need of a night out."

"Well, you called the right girl. Bonnie and I were planning on going to that club downtown, did you wanna join? We would've invited you but today is your Damon day or whatever."

"It was, but we were bickering again so I just left. I would _love_ to go out tonight, can I pick you both up to go shopping? I have nothing hot to go out in."

Caroline nearly squealed, "Oh my god yes! Call me when you're close! I'll tell Bon!" Bonnie and Caroline had been neighbors for years, which is where their friendship was rooted.

Elena smiled as she clicked the end button, pulling out of the parking lot. She turned on the radio, getting herself pumped for an awesome weekend with her girls for a change.

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"Alright. Bonnie, lets remember how hot you look in red. Lena, black is gonna get you laid tonight," Caroline began to order the girls as they walked into the mall.

Elena laughed, "I don't need to get laid tonight Care, I have a boyfriend. I just wanna go out, dance, drink, and have fun with my girls tonight. Boy free."

Caroline groaned, "Well wheres the fun in that?"

"Poor Tyler," Bonnie stage-mumbled with a smile as she opened the door for the girls.

Caroline laughed, "Oh he's fine, I can assure you of that!"

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The girls got ready in Caroline's house, primarily because she owned the most makeup and shoes to borrow, and because Liz was on duty. Elena had settled on a form fitting black dress with a silver sequined sweetheart neckline. Bonnie had also followed Caroline's advice, wearing a bodycon red dress, with only one long sleeve, her other shoulder bare. Caroline squealed with excitement as she did Bonnie's makeup, while wearing a metallic gold strapless dress.

"Pre-game, where do you keep it Care?" Elena called from the bathroom where she was styling her hair.

"Umm, go in my closet and open the bright pink shoebox. I think theres still vodka from our last escapade in there."

Elena walked into the bedroom, receiving a "Damn! Salvatores a lucky guy! Turn around!" from Bonnie. Elena smiled sheepishly, doing a 360 for Bonnie and Caroline. "Gilbert! Cross country has been paying off, look at your legs! Holy shit!"

Caroline stood quietly next to Bonnie, a slow smile spreading across her face.

Elena laughed, "Thank you Bon, and what the hell are you doing Care?"

"Nothing, nothing at all Gilbert," Caroline said, still smirking.

Elena shrugged, reaching for the shoebox. Sure enough, there was half a bottle left. Wordlessly, she took a swig from the bottle before putting it down on the desk in front of her. "Last one here is the DD!" (note, designated driver, not sure if that's just where I'm from or everywhere….Carry onJ)

Caroline laughed, "Bonnie, go! I'll drive, not a big deal. I have to go to a meeting tomorrow morning anyway."

"Oooh, isn't so fun anymore, now is it?" Elena smirked, taking another gulp from the bottle.

"Haha, its worth it. Are you guys almost ready?"

"I've been ready, I'm good." Bonnie said, taking her first sip.

"I'm all good, this is as good as its getting." Elena said, motioning to herself.

"Awesome, now I'll just take that," Caroline started, taking the bottle and returning it to it's original place in the closet, "And lets go!"

Next chapter you'll see what happens on girls night out! Hope you enjoyed, please rate and review!  
Now that its summer my goal is to post a chapter a week for you guys, so I hope I dont disappoint!  
XOXO,  
Kay


	14. Chapter 14

**Surprise! Another update! I just wrote it in less than 20 minutes, its like my hands just knew what to type! This ones action filled, but next chapter is gonna even more intense! **

"Elena! Seriously!?" Caroline shrieked, staring down at the brunette who was mostly under a tall, broad shouldered man.

Elena pried her mouth off of his, looking up at Caroline with a drunken grin. "Care! This is my friend," she paused, "Whats your name?"

"I'm Kol," the man said, throwing in a sheepish wave.

Caroline took a deep breath before calmly speaking, "Elena, stand up, and get in the car. It was very nice to meet you Kol."

Elena rolled her eyes, not moving, "Okay party police, you can run along now." Her fingers were once again laced in the man's shaggy hair, pulling him closer.

"Well then, guess I'll just have to call a certain Salvatore," Caroline said, maintaining her calm voice, pulling out her phone.

"What the hell is Stefan gonna do? He wont care," Elena said as his mouth slid down her neck.

Caroline was shocked, "Not Stefan. I'm calling Damon. As in your boyfriend. Your boyfriend who gets jealous when people cheer for you at races.

Elena laughed, "He doesn't have phone privileges at the moment, but I can always call the nurse's station and beg,"

"Absolutely not, I'll take this," Caroline announced, taking Elena's phone. Elena shrugged before returning to her new boy-toy as Caroline stood still, astonished.

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It was now close to 1:30 am, and Damon was still staring blankly at the ceiling as he had since Elena left. He had politely declined lunch and dinner, claiming to feel nauseous. He couldn't think of anything else, he had been such a dick. He finally stood and poked his head out the door. His favorite nurse was on duty, maybe he could make a phone call.

"Good morning Ms. Alexis," he said with a dazzling smile, approaching her desk where she had been texting.

The woman glanced up, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I told you, call me Lexie. And what the hell are you doing out of bed?" she asked. She attempted to be stern, but couldn't help but smile when she spoke to Damon, he was her favorite patient. Even in such a miserable and depressing environment, he could always make her laugh.

"Well Lexie, you may have noticed in these books here," he patted the guest books, "that the epic love of my life you have heard oh so much about, Miss. Gilbert, left early today."

"Did she now?" she asked, putting her phone down, giving him her undivided attention.

"She did. And do you know why?

"Could it be because a certain blue eyed boy was stupid?"

Damon smirked, "Yes, yes it was. I wish there were some way I could speak to her and apologize." He sighed dramatically, his hand slowly creeping towards her phone.

"Well Damon, you know that's against the rules. I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee from the cafeteria, so I'll be gone for a few minutes, nobody will be watching you."

"Love you Lex! You're the best!" Damon said as loudly as he could without waking anyone up.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lexie replied, smiling and walking away, as she conveniently left her phone on the counter.

Damon quickly dialed the number, not knowing how much time he had. After the third ring he was nervous she wouldn't answer, when finally the ringing stopped, replaced by a ridiculously loud beat. "Hold on!" a voice screamed over the music. The music faded, and soon the voice spoke. "Hello?"

"Hey, you don't sound like Lena. It's Damon."

"Hey Damon! It's Caroline! How are you calling?"

"Long story, not a lot of time. Can you put Lena on?"

Caroline silently cursed, trying to think of an excuse. "Oh no! We're actually having a sleepover and shes asleep, that's why I answered," she said quickly, hoping he would buy it.

"You're a horrible liar. At least go for 'she left her phone in my car' or something convincing. Nobody plays that music and sleeps. Whats going on?"

"We're out at a club, she'll call you in the morning."

"That doesn't answer my question and I cant talk in the morning, I can only talk now. Just put her on," Damon said, starting to get frustrated now.

"Well Elena cant talk now, so I'm sorry but its out of my hands."

"Why cant she?" he demanded to know.

"Who's on the phone Care?" a drunken Elena screamed.

"One minute please," Caroline said before putting her hand over the phone. "Shut the hell up! Its Damon! You aren't here!"

"Hes my boyfriend! Let me talk to him!" Elena said, reaching for the phone.

Damon was smirking, hearing it all. Caroline would be the girl incapable of muffling a conversation.

"Elena, I don't think you want to do this," Caroline pleaded.

"I do! I do!" she said, snatching the phone. "Hey baby!" she cooed into the phone.

"Hello Elena. I called to apologize." Damon said, his smile clear in his voice.

"For what? For making out with Kol?" she asked, completely serious.

Damon laughed, "What? I didn't make out with anyone."

"I'm really sorry, I know I shouldn't have but he was so hot Damon," Elena began to explain, slurring words.

"Wait, are you telling me you cheated on me?" Damon asked, not knowing how to feel.

Elena began to cry, "I was mad and he was there and he liked me and I wont do it again-" she started to ramble.

"Don't bother coming back on Saturday. Have fun with your STDs, slut," he said, slamming the phone down. He had wound up in his room, and walked back to the nurse's station, putting the phone on the counter.

"Is everything better?" Lexie asked with a warm smile.

"Quite the opposite, but its all on her this time."

"Do you wanna talk?"

"Nope." Damon said, turning on his heel and walking back to his room, slamming the door behind him. He threw himself on the bed, letting everything hit him at once. Rage, sorrow, jealousy, self-pity, guilt, pain, then it all went numb. He jumped off the bed, searching for anything that could make him feel something. Although the hospital had done a fairly good job of removing all sharp objects from his room, he was able to pull a screw out of his bed, and soon enough he had pierced his skin with it.

**Dont hate me too much! Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for following/favoriting, and I LOVE reading your reviews! Please leave any suggestions you may have, and get excited for an angsty next chapter!**  
**XOXO,**  
**Kay**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello lovelies! Thank you so much for your reviews! This is the longest chapter I've written, I hope you like it! I'm trying to write a bunch of chapters then just put one out a week, but I hate boring you guys, so I always give in and put up a new one! Enjoy!**

"I am never drinking ever again," Elena mumbled to Bonnie. The two had stayed over Caroline's house, who had left about an hour before the girls woke up.

"Shh," Bonnie groaned, clearly feeling the effects of last night as well.

Elena rubbed her eyes and stood from the couch, headed towards the kitchen for something to drink. As she poured herself a glass of orange juice, she found pink post-it on the counter and smiled, that had always been Caroline's signature. **"Text me when you wake up. You're in deep shit. Deep,"** the note stated. Elena thought for a moment, wondering what she had done before panicking.

"Bonnie!" she called.

"What?" Bonnie groaned in response.

"Bon, what the hell did I do last night?"

Bonnie sat up, "Well, come take a seat."

"Oh shit," Elena muttered.

"Yeah, oh shit. So you were far past tipsy, and we were dancing. Some guy bought you a drink, you started dancing with him, and then all of a sudden he was on top of you and you didn't seem to mind."

Elena's jaw dropped, "Oh my God. I cheated on Damon! Damon! I have to go see him!" she nearly screamed, already looking for her car keys.

"Wait," Bonnie said, grabbing her arm. "Theres more."

Elena was on the verge of tears, "Well, just rip the bandaid off."

"Damon called you, and you were confused, and you told him you made out with whats his face. And then he called you a slut and hung up," Bonnie winced, not wanting to see Elena's face.

Elena broke. She sat back down and cried, feeling so beyond guilty. After about 5 minutes she collected herself. "I'm gonna go home and change and take a ride over. They don't have visiting hours today but hopefully they'll make an exception."

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Damon woke up with a soreness in his wrist and had to think about why before he fully woke up. He had to hide it. There was no way he would let them find out, he was supposed to be going home in two weeks, this would set him back at least a month. He found the screw and put it back in place, and looked at his next mission, the white sheets, stained with red specks of blood. After contemplating for a few minutes he remembered something from his childhood. Stefan's bloody noses. He had one nearly every week in the winter, and it was the perfect excuse. Damon looked in the mirror, and punched himself straight in the nose, which began to bleed directly over the stains. He wanted to laugh at what his life had become, punching himself in the face to stay out of trouble. He would tell the nurses he fell or something, they wouldn't suspect a thing. When the bleeding slowed down a bit he went into the hall, going to the health office. "Damon Salvatore, fell on floor and now stuck with a bloody nose," he announced, walking into the room.

"Those damn floors," the nurse responded with a smile, giving him tissues and an ice pack.

"Can I bring my sheets in here to wash them? They're all bloody now, I sat on the bed for a minute," he explained.

"Just go to the nurses' station, they'll set you right up."

"Thank you," Damon said, exiting the office. "Lexie!" he called to the nurse, who was watching the clock tick. Her 12 hour shift had started at 11 last night, so she had about 3 hours left.

"Good morning sunshine! How you feeling?"

Damon sighed, thinking for the first time that day why he had done that in the first place last night. "I'm alright. She cheated on me."

"Ouch. Well, she's been calling all morning, she's hoping we'll make an exception and let her visit."

"Nope. Please don't let her; I don't want to see her right now."

"I think you should. Don't let it linger Damon, I'll only let her stay an hour or two. If she's trying to make this right you should give her a chance," Lexie pleaded.

Damon rolled his eyes, "You're right."

"Usually am! I'll give her a call back now," Lexie said, picking up the phone.

"Thanks. And can you have someone send me new sheets? Huge fight with the floor this morning, blood all over mine."

Lexie laughed, "Sure thing hun."

"Thank you," Damon said, walking away. He was nervous now to see Elena, he had never been upset with her, it was always the other way around.

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Elena walked out of the shower and quickly pulled her hair into a messy side braid, she didn't care about being formal, she just needed to see him. She found yoga pants and one of his sweatshirts which she put on over a sports bra. After slipping into flip flops and leaving Jeremy a note, she was out the door. 20 minutes later, she walked to the nurses station to sign in. "Hi, I'm Lexie," the woman greeted her.

"Oh hi! Thank you so much for letting me come in, I promise it wont be too long."

"Not a problem, I get off at 11 and the nurse after me wont mind either. We just don't like too many loud people here. Good luck!"

"Thanks," Elena said, faking a smile before knocking on his door.

"Hey," he stiffly said before walking back to his bed.

"Hey back," Elena said in a flirty tone, trying to gauge his mood.

"Cut the crap. We need to talk. Close the door, and sit down," Damon said, motioning to the desk chair, he meant business.

Elena nodded, closing the door behind her. "Damon, I just need to say I am so so-" she began to choke up, tears welling in her eyes, "I am so sorry," she finished before surrendering to the tears.

Damon sighed, refusing to look at her for a minute. "Listen, you have no right to be crying right now, so you need to stop. Stop crying, and when you can do that we'll talk."

Elena pulled herself together, took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay, lets talk."

"So tell me what happened when you stormed out of here yesterday. Before you start I do wanna apologize for that. I was a dick. I just hate seeing you like that and I wanted you to smile but that was selfish and wasn't what you needed in the moment. I'm sorry. But what happened when you left?"

"Its fine, I totally overreacted. I was mad and called Caroline for a girls day. We went shopping and got new dresses and stuff, then we went to her house to get ready. I pre-gamed it with like 3 swigs of vodka, so probably the equivalent of 3 or 4 shots, all in 20 minutes. So I was pretty bad when we got to the club, where I drank more. I was dancing with the girls, a guy bought me a drink, I danced with him, and it all went downhill from there. We ended up making out on the chairs, and I was too drunk to care. I honestly didn't mean it. I just wanted a night to forget everything after the past couple of weeks, and I guess I forgot too much. I love you Damon, not Kol."

Damon had sat quietly, glaring at the floor as she spoke until she said the name Kol. "What did the guy look like?"

"Who, Kol?" she asked. Damon nodded, eager to know. "Why does it matter; its over."

"Just answer the question."

"Alright, well he was ripped. His arms were huge, he was a little taller than you, dark hair-" she managed to say before he interrupted her.

"Unbelievable," Damon muttered, chuckling to himself.

"Damon, I said I was sorry, I didn't mean it!"

"Elena, do you remember in the seventh grade when that new kid came for like a week, then transferred back to his little private school?" She nodded before her jaw dropped. "Wasn't his name Kol Mikaelson? And wasn't he tall and awkward with dark hair?" She nodded.

Elena burst into laughter before getting a hold of herself, "This so isn't funny! Oh my God! That was him!"

Damon laughed with her, "Its kinda funny that it was him, he had a thing for you then too. But alright, time to get serious."

Elena nodded, ready to see her fate. "I regret every move I made yesterday Damon, and I don't expect you to forgive or forget my behavior immediately, but I am so beyond sorry, and it was very alcohol controlled. I still love you, and I think we're crazy to throw this away just because I made one stupid drunk mistake."

"I love you too, but you completely shattered me last night."

Elena looked up and said in the quietest tone he had ever heard come from her, "Damon, can I see your wrist?"

Damon sighed, "I want so badly to be mad at you for asking me that, but I did." He rolled up his sleeve, revealing a series of short thin cuts, which were an improvement on what once marked his arms.

Elena began to cry again, "This is all my fault, you're not gonna be home for Christmas now-" she broke off in sobs.

Damon walked over to pick her up, and brought her to sit on the bed with him where he, let her head fall on his shoulder. He rubbed her arms up and down with his hands, trying to soothe her. "They don't know, and they don't need to. I want to forget everything that has happened in the past 24 hours. Please."

Elena looked up, still crying but now with a smile. "You mean, you aren't gonna leave me?"

Damon kissed the top of her head, "Nah, I'd miss you too much. You were drunk. Obviously you're sorry. I forgive you. But no more clubs for my Laney," he whispered.

"No more clubs for me is right," she said before pulling him into a kiss.

"Have I mentioned I love when you wear my clothes?" he asked, referring to his hoodie.

Elena blushed, "Only every time I wear them."

"Are you on the pill?" he asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Yeah, cause that would go over great. 'Hey dad! I have a boyfriend and now I want to take birth control. But no, we are completely abstinent.' He would flip. Why do you ask?"

"Because I don't have anything here and you are so hot right now and to be completely honest I just want to have sex with you right now Miss. Gilbert."

Elena laughed, "Well I'm sorry, but I am not risking little spawns of us running around. I refuse to be on 16 and pregnant."

"Would you ever want kids?" he asked.

"Absolutely, one day. I would want to be in a happy marriage and in a good financial state and everything, but yeah, of course I want kids. You?"

"Well, if you want them, of course I want them. Whatever you want, Little Gilbert."

Elena laughed, "How did I get so lucky?"

There was a tap on the door before it creaked open. "Miss. Gilbert, I'm sorry but you can only stay another few minutes, the manager is making the rounds and this is against the rules."

"Not a problem, thank you so much for even letting me come," she said, hopping off the bed.

"I'm just gonna walk her to the car," Damon said, slipping on his shoes.

"Don't run away on us Salvatore," Lexie said with a smile before walking away.

Damon wrapped his arms around Elena's waist, holding her to him. "I don't want you to leave," he whined.

"I know. Two more weeks," she said simply before picking up his wrist and kissing it, just as she had done before he left.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, referring to the inside and out.

"I love you. Thank you for putting up with the shittiest girlfriend of all time," she said as they walked hand in hand towards the exit of the building.

"I love you too, and thank you for putting up with a mentally unstable, overprotective and extremely insensitive boyfriend."

Elena laughed, "We really are quite the pair."

"We are," he replied as they neared the car. He pushed her against her door, kissing her as deeply as he could. "One more week, then I'll see you again." She cut him off, kissing him again. His hands travelled lower and lower from their original spot around her waist until they rested on her hips. "Elena Gilbert, I am taking your virginity when I get home whether you like it or not," he said simply, in barely more than a whisper. "Okay well no, only if you want to. I'm not pressuring you into anything, that sounded like rape. I'm sorry I'm tying to be sexy," he rambled apologetically.

Elena laughed, "I'm yours, and you don't have to try. Goodbye Damon," she said, giving him a final kiss before climbing into the car.

While she sat and fiddled with her mirrors, he breathed onto the window, writing "I 3 U" before tapping the glass. She smiled, blew him a kiss and pulled out of the lot.

**Alright, so CLEARLY that wasnt angsty, I wanted it to be, but I liked it better this way! Hope you liked it too, please review, follow, and favorite! Thank you so so so so so so so much for reading!**

**XOXO,**  
**Kay**


	16. Chapter 16

Hi guys! Sorry its been a while, but I have an excuse! I spilled nail polish remover all over mykeyboard, so its broken! I had to wait and buy a new one, and I hate typing a lot on this one! I have the TVD convention today, which means I will be breathing the same air as Ian Somerhalder! (!) Haha enjoy! Pretty boring chapter, but next one will be VERY interesting...

"Good morning sweetie!" Rose Salvatore greeted Elena, who was climbing into the nearly ancient mini van.

"Good morning! Are you excited?" Elena asked.

"I am, it'll be so nice to have him back in the house again, I hate living all alone. I'm picking Stefan up at the airport tonight, then I have both my boys home for Christmas!" Rose went on excitedly.

"Oh that's right! Wow todays an awesome day for you! Did you get all your shopping done?"

"Almost, I just don't know where to put it all. The boys find it every year, I know they do!"

Elena laughed, "I remember when we were little, Damon took me into the attic and was showing me all the toys he was getting. He insisted that Santa delivered them early, he didn't stop believing until like 6th grade…"

Rose laughed with her, "Stefan knew Santa wasn't real in about 2nd grade, and he couldn't have cared less. What are you guys doing for Christmas?"

Elena shifted awkwardly, "I'll probably just make the boys something, then we'll just watch a movie." This was only her second Christmas without her mother, and last year her grandparents had been staying with them while they all coped with the death. She smiled, remembering her grandmother insisting on cooking enough food for an army, but the smile faded when she realized they wouldn't be coming this year.

"Nonsense! Tell your father that you are all coming to dinner at our house. It'll be nice for you Stefan and Damon to hang out again, I'm sure they'll set up the xbox and you can all play that together. I haven't seen your father in ages!"

"Alright, that sounds fun. Thanks," Elena said, smiling.

"Not a problem! I'm sure he'll be thrilled," Rose replied, referring to Damon. "We're here!" she announced in a singsong voice as they pulled into the parking lot of the center.

Elena grew giddy, knowing she would see Damon in a few minutes. "I think I'm gonna wait in here, I wanna surprise him."

"Oh, he'll love that! We'll be out in a few minutes," Rose said before climbing out of the car.

Elena unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed into the back seat. She decided that Damon would either A) Throw his bag in the trunk and she would pop up and surprise him, or B) Let Rose put the bag in because she would insist, and sit in the passenger seat. If he opted for choice B she would kiss his neck and watch him freak out. The clock seemed to be frozen, barely moving. After a few minutes of checking herself in the mirror, she saw Rose emerge from the building, carrying a duffle bag and rolling a suitcase behind her. Damon was walking behind her attempting to carry something, but she kept shooing him away. Elena ducked down, getting anxious. Finally she heard the passenger door swing open. He sat in his seat and began to fiddle with the radio, hoping to choose the station before his mother. Elena wrapped her arms around the seat, her hands on his biceps. "What the-" he muttered. Elena leaned forward to kiss his neck before he pulled her face to hers. "Lena!" he nearly shouted when they finally broke apart.

Elena laughed, "Hi," she said with a smirk.

"I didn't know you were coming! Oh my God, I am _so_ happy to see you right now! Screw shotgun, I'm sitting with you." He opened the door, climbing in next to her, where their lips immediately found eachother again.

"Oh, I think I forgot to fill out a paper, better go do that," Rose said awkwardly upon opening the door.

Elena laughed, "Sorry, we're done Rose."

"No we're not, you should really fill out that paper Mom," Damon said before kissing her yet again, before Elena pulled away mouthing 'Later.'

Rose laughed, "And to think, the two of you used to sit back there when I drove you to soccer. You were like 5 then. Damon, remember how afraid of the ball you were?"

Elena burst into laughter, "He was horrible! Damon, you wouldn't go anywhere near it!" Elena said through her laughter as Rose started the car.

"Well sorry not all of us were perfect little goalies Miss. Gilbert," he said before flashing a crooked smile.

"I missed that smirk."

"And I missed your ass," he replied, mainly to make her uncomfortable, but he wasn't lying.

"Eyes! You missed her eyes!" Rose called from the front seat.

Elena playfully hit him, "You're such an ass!"

"And you have an extraordinary one," he fired back.

Elena burst into more laughter before Rose changed the subject. "Elena, why don't you tell Damon what you're doing for Christmas?"

"Please don't be going to Florida," he mumbled.

"I'm not going to Florida. Jeremy, my dad and I are coming to your house," she said with a smile.

"Holy shit this day is amazing! Xbox! What time is Stef getting home at anyway Ma?"

"Watch your mouth, and we're picking him up at the airport at 6:00."

"Sorry, and alright we have about six hours then," he said checking his watch.

"I know I'm a horrible mother and all, but while you were gone I volunteered to help organize the church tag sale and I have a meeting at one. Would you mind if I went?"

Damon's smile took up his whole face, "Anything for the Lord mom. How long is this meeting?"

"I probably wont be back until 4 or 5. I'm so sorry honey, but I really like some of the people and I cant just stop going-"

"Its fine mom! We'll watch a movie or something when Stef gets home. I'll just hang with my girl," he said, wrapping his arm around Elena.

"I have a half hour run, and then I'm all yours."

"Elena, do you want me to drop you off at home then? You can change and get your car," Rose asked.

"That would be great, thanks. I'll just change then I'll drive over to you," Elena said, looking at Damon, who nodded.

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She rang the doorbell in black sweatpants, her gray sneakers with pink laces, and a long sleeved tee shirt from an old meet. "Hey there sexy," Damon said, opening the door.

Elena rolled her eyes with a smile, "Stop doing that, your mom is gonna hate us!"

"She just left. And I hope you realize that we have the house to ourselves for a few hours," he said suggestively.

"I am aware. I have to get this done though, so come on. Thirty minutes, then I'll shower in the guest and you can shower in the master and then we have all day."

"Or maybe we'll just shower together," Damon said, thinking it was worth a shot.

"Or maybe we'll just shower together," Elena parroted back, not seeming to mind the idea.

Damon smirked, "And so begins the longest thirty minutes of my life," he said closing the door behind him as Elena started her watch.

Muahahaha! Be excited!

Thanks for reading, please review, I love hearing from you guys! Please follow/favorite if you arent already!  
XOXO,  
Kay


	17. Chapter 17

"Time!" Elena announced, still running up the stairs of the Salvatore's front porch.

"Tryhard," Damon muttered, walking up. Elena glared at him as he made his way to the front door, unlocking it with his key. "I love how hard you try, its very adorable," he said, kissing her against the door until it creaked open.

"So how was your first run in like forever?" Elena asked, walking towards his fridge to get water.

"Not bad, but I don't think I'm ever going to get how you love it so much," he said, slipping off his sneakers, catching the water bottle Elena tossed to him.

"You probably wont," Elena smiled, opening her bottle. Damon crossed the room, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"So how about that shower?" he whispered in her ear.

She laughed in response, "I think I'll take one in the guest bathroom, you can use the one upstairs. Nice effort though Salvatore!" she said, ducking under his arms and walking into the bedroom.

"Tease!" he called after her, gaining more laughter. He padded up the stairs, taking his shirt off as he went.

Elena stripped as the water heated up in the shower of the guest bathroom. She smiled, remembering all the times she had stayed in this room when they were younger teens and it was no longer acceptable for a boy and a girl to sleep in the same room. After a while, Rose just started buying Elena's favorite soaps, shampoos, and conditioners and keeping them in the cabinet. Elena creaked the old cabinet open, and smiled to see everything still there despite the fact she hadn't slept there in almost a year. After placing a bottle of each product in the shower where she could reach them, she climbed in.

Damon walked out of the bathroom and downstairs, not bothering to change yet since he knew Elena would take at least another 15 minutes to get ready. He walked into the kitchen, and rolled his eyes when he found only healthy foods. He started to walk towards the stairs, planning to change when he heard Elena. "Damon! Come here!" she called from the guest room.

He smiled, and swung open the door, leaning against the entrance. "You call, I come. I'm easy like that," he said, with a smirk and a wink.

"Alright, well I meant to the door!" she said, attempting to cover what her towel didn't. "I left my bag in the car. Keys are on the coffee table. Can you get it and bring it to me? Then we can go out for lunch or something."

Damon stood still, unable to take his eyes off of her. The white towel made her olive skin tone even richer, her legs seemed to go on for miles, drops of water from her hair clung to her collarbones. "How about we both just stay here?" he managed to choke out after collecting himself.

Elena smirked, "Seriously, I have no clothes. Can you just run upstairs, put on shorts and get the bag?"

Damon shook his head, crossing the room. "I missed you, so much," he whispered before gently kissing her neck as he wrapped his arms around her hips.

"Damon, we cant, we really shouldn't," Elena tried, silenced by his blue eyes.

"We can, and we should. I love you Elena. I always have, I always will," he said, gently guiding them towards the bed. He walked backwards, as she pulled his lips down to hers.

Elena took a deep breath before saying, "And I love you. We're doing this," with a small smile.

"We're doing this," he echoed back, as his back hit the mattress.

"I love you," she whispered, looking down at him, her towel slipping.

"I love you too," he said, pulling her on top of him. Her lips found their way back to his again, resulting in the most passionate kiss they had ever shared. His hands fell from her hair down her back, and with a light thump her towel hit the floor. He turned her over, trying to take it all in. "God, you are stunning," he mumbled, his hands now holding her hips. He had never noticed just how small she was, he could practically wrap his hands around her waist.

Elena smirked, "Your turn," she breathed, shedding his towel. "Damon," she whispered, realizing what she was doing, not sure how she felt.

"We can stop, anytime, you want to," he whispered, leaving a trail of kisses from her neck to her hip bone.

Elena chuckled lightly, "We're not stopping anything, just go easy on me." She laced her fingers in his hair, which was still damp from his shower. His hands fell down her legs, until he reached her knees. He gently pushed them apart, and his tongue began to outline her inner thigh. He looked up as he neared her core, not wanting to go any further than she wanted him to. She nodded, not knowing what she'd do if he stopped. Her legs now rested on his shoulders, giving him full access. She began to raise her hips, and Damon began kissing up her stomach, in between her breasts, her breathing already heavy. He tilted her chin up, placing a light kiss on her lips. His fingers were lost in the loose waves of her drying hair, as he cautiously pulled his hips up to hers. He looked at her once more, and she nodded before letting her head fall into the crook of his neck, giving a kiss he knew would leave a mark. She gasped as he entered her, but she quickly recovered, returning to his neck. He set a slow pace, rocking in and out of her, cutting her kiss off with one of his own. His lips now dominated hers, and she didn't seem to mind at all. His pace gradually quickened, and her nails were now scraping his shoulder blades, he would be proud to have marks from her. "Damon," she began to breathe, "Oh God, Damon!" she nearly screamed, coming completely undone.

"Lena, fuck Lena," he muttered. She gently bit his lip in time with his final thrust before breaking their kiss. He simply looked into her eyes, never had he been this happy. He rolled off of her, laying next to her and pulling her close. They laid in silence, enjoying their closeness when they heard footsteps in the hall.

"Oh my god!" she whispered.

"Shit, shit shit, okay stay calm," Damon muttered. He sat up, looking around the room before realizing that neither of them even had clothes to change into. Elena had managed to cover herself up with a towel when they were discovered.

"Oh good god! Was that Elena Gilbert?!" Stefan screamed from the doorway, immediately turning around.

"Stefan!" Elena screamed.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Damon screamed, finally wrapping a towel around his hips.

"Apparently watching you clean up after fucking Gilbert! I got an earlier flight and took a cab! I wanted to surprise you guys! Is everyone covered?" he asked.

"Yes," Damon sighed.

Stefan turned around, walking into the room. "Well then, congrats bro! Look at you! Finally getting the girl!" he said, high fiving Damon, who gave a cocky smile in return.

"I know! Shes all mine, right Lena?" Damon asked.

"Not the time or place, asshole," Elena said, storming out of the room.

"Ah fuck," Damon muttered, walking towards the door to follow her when Stefan grabbed his arm.

"She'll get over whatever she's pissed about. Don't worry 'bout it. If she doesn't call, she doesn't call," Stefan said, shrugging his shoulders.

"What do you mean if she doesn't call she doesn't call?"

"If shes dumping your sorry ass, then shes gonna dump your ass. Brunettes are easy to come by, you'll be fine," Stefan explained.

"She's not dumping my ass, and I don't want another brunette! That's Elena! As in the girl I've loved for years, shes not some cheap whore I'm gonna fuck and dump!" Damon roared, storming out of the room. He walked into the living room, finding Elena sitting against the wall, her knees pulled to her chest, sobbing. "Hey beautiful, whats going on? I'm sorry about Stefan, he's going through a tough time and all," he asked, wrapping his arms around her.

"You couldn't have asked him to leave?" Elena choked out, wiping tears from her face.

"I'm sorry, I was just as surprised as you were Laney."

"Oh don't try to Laney your way out of this. Its not working this time, find another brunette, theyre easy to come by!" she said, standing and pacing the floor.

"So you heard that. I assume you didn't hear what I said to him?"

Elena shook her head, "I don't need to hear your stupid little joke, because its not funny when you take my virginity and make jokes about it within the hour."

"It wasn't a joke! I went off on him! I told him how I've loved you for years, how I don't want another fucking brunette, and that I'm not gonna fuck and dump you!" Damon screamed, getting frustrated with her, she was making a huge deal out of nothing. "Wait, what did I take?" he asked, not comprehending this.

"Seriously?! You're gonna make me say it so you can hear it again? God, you are being such an asshole today! You took my virginity! We had sex! Let me call the Mystic Grille, maybe they'll let me hang a banner so the whole town knows!"

"Lena," he started.

"I don't want to fight, its your first day back, we aren't fighting. Just get me clothes. That's all I want. Just get me something to put on so I can leave and you and Stefan can take celebratory shots or whatever he's planning."

"I don't want to fight either. I love you, you know that, right?" Elena nodded. "I'm sorry that Stefan ruined this for you, but why does it even matter? I love you, and at least you know you didn't waste your first time, alright? I love you Lena."

"Katherine?" she whispered, not wanting Stefan to hear.

"Unfortunately, but it was horrible. She didn't love me, and looking back, I didn't love her. I wanted to love her, I wanted to be the one save her, and I wasn't. I didn't love her, because I didn't know what love was until we started this."

Elena laughed, "God you are such a hallmark card. I love you too. I just don't even know whats happening right now because today has just been so new. I mean you haven't been here in like what two months? Then we did that, and I just saw Stefan and I flipped and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry this day is just so different from what I thought it'd be. Now lets get you some clothes, and then we can all talk and see whats going on with him," Damon said, taking her hand and leading her up the stairs.

"Hoodie," she said, grabbing her favorite sweatshirt of his.

"And shorts you left here forever ago," he said, tossing soffee shorts at her.

"Do these even fit?" Elena asked herself, managing to squeeze into them. "Alright, I'm going to the car, I'll be back," she said, leaning up and kissing his cheek.

Damon smiled, relieved that she had calmed down and went back to talk to Stefan. "Knock knock," he announced, walking into the bedroom to find Stefan on the phone.

"No! Alright I'll email him the fucking essay! Get off my back, holy shit!" he screamed, slamming the phone down.

"Hey, whats going on?" Damon asked, still in the doorway.

"Is she pissed at you?" Stefan asked, ignoring the question.

"We talked, shes fine. Shes getting changed then maybe the three of us will grab lunch or something," Damon suggested.

"Oh that sounds good, I don't have my car though."

"You do realize that we're seniors and Elena has her own car. She can drive us."

"That's so weird to me, where's she applying?"

"You can ask her yourself," Damon said with a smile as she walked into the room.

"Ask me what?" Elena asked.

"Where are you applying for school?" Stefan asked her.

"Oh, I sent everything in already. Forgot to tell you, Palmer sent in all your stuff to the schools on your list while you were away," she said to Damon who nodded. "I applied to like 15 schools I think."

"And by that she means she applied to Yale, Harvard, MIT, Columbia, NYU, and a few small schools nobody has ever heard of even though she's getting in everywhere."

Elena blushed, "I'm not getting in everywhere."

"Lies. You're a straight A student, you ran all throughout high school, and you're you. Who wouldn't accept that? Anyway, we were thinking we could go to the grill? It'd be nice for the three of us to catch up there, plus I'm starving."

"Sex does make you hungry," Stefan said simply, getting glares from Damon and Elena. "Alright, too soon," he noted.

"Too soon. I'll drive, lets go," she said, already looking for her keys.

Hope you enjoyed! This one took me a while, and it came out much longer than they usually do! This was like my first attempt at smut, so I'm sorry if it was horrible. Dont be too harsh! Please follow/favorite/review, and thank you so much to those who already do!  
XOXO,  
Kay


	18. Chapter 18

Hello lovelies! Enjoy!

"So hows Ohio?" Elena asked, taking a sip of her diet coke.

"Ohio is fantastic. It's the school part that sucks," Stefan said.

"What, are classes harder than you'd expect?"

"Absolutely. Plus its really hard juggling sports and school and a social life," Stefan said, shrugging.

"So how is that social life?" Damon asked. "Does wittle Steffy have a girlfriend?" he asked in a cooing voice.

Stefan laughed lightly, "Nope, I do not. Why would I do that to myself again? I mean really, whats the point? She's just gonna dump me then die on me."

Elena shifted awkwardly in her seat before standing. "Excuse me, I'm just gonna go to the ladies room."

Damon sighed, "You're not over her, are you?" he asked, though it sounded like more of a statement.

"Nope. Do you think they'll accept my fake here? I need a drink."

"Stefan, come on. I know, we loved her but its time to let go."

"You don't get it. Did you lose your fucking virginity to her, then wake up alone? Did you give her everything, only to have it not be enough? I loved her, so much, but it was never enough for her. I cant say this, because she's dead, but she was such a manipulative bitch. She knew she had me wrapped around her little finger, and she abused that. That's the worst part. I knew how bad she was for me, but I just couldn't stop wanting her. She needed a prom date, boom, there I was. After pictures, who was she making out with in the corner? It sure as hell wasn't me. I don't get it. She treated me so fucking badly, yet I can't stop loving her. I just can't."

Damon sat in stunned silence for a moment, he had never known that she treated Stefan that way. He always assumed that Stefan was treated as the golden boy everywhere he went. Of course Damon could tell Stefan about his "relationship," if he could even call it that with Katherine, but that was another fight for another day. "Well, you know we were good friends. You should know, she did love you, she was just too fragile and insecure to let you love her. One night, we just laid out in her yard while you two were on break or something, and we sat and told me each other our fears. Her biggest fear was hurting you. She could only see the good in you, and the bad in herself. God, I miss that night. We laughed so hard before things got deep," Damon said finally, smiling at the memories.

Stefan sighed, "You do know that she told me, right?"

"What did she tell you?" Damon asked, beyond confused.

"I know about your little fling. She explained the whole thing to me. You used her as a distraction from Elena, and she used you as a distraction from me."

Damon looked down at the table. "I knew she was using me, just not what for."

"Everything alright?" Elena asked as she returned, sensing the heaviness in the air.

"Oh yeah, I was just telling Damon over here not to fuck it up with you. Cute couple, the two of you. I called it in like 3rd grade," Stefan said, not wanting to drag Elena into the Katherine conversation.

"Thank you, and I hope he doesn't fuck it up either," Elena said with a smile, sliding into the booth next to Damon. He smiled, looking up at her. Elenas phone began buzzing on the table. "Oh its Jer, do you guys mind if he stops by?"

The Salvatores shook their heads, "No, not at all. How old is he now?" Stefan asked.

"He just started his second freshman year. He failed last year."

"Oh, well that's understandable, last year was a lot for you guys," Stefan said, feeling awkward talking about the death of Elena's mother.

"What, my mom? Well yeah, that sucked but I managed to pass. He failed because he's a pothead now-" she stopped when she saw him walk through the doors, waving him over to the table. "Hey, foods coming soon, you can have mine, I'm not hungry."

"Cool. Welcome home guys," he said to the Salvatores, sitting down.

Stefan looked up, "When did you get home?" he asked Damon.

"This morning."

"Oh! Well that explains why you two, oh okay. I gotcha."

Elena was now blushing again, still horrified by the fact that Stefan saw them like that.

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"Well, I guess I'll see you Monday," Elena said as she pulled into the Salvatore's driveway.

"You sure you guys don't wanna come in?" Damon asked.

"Positive, go have family time. Jer, why don't you walk Stefan to the door?"

"What am I, his boyfriend? If you guys want to be alone just say it," Jeremy said, climbing out of the car with Stefan.

"Bye Stef!" Elena called. She turned back to Damon, "I love you so much, I'm so happy to have you home, and thank you so much for today. That was great."

Damon smiled, kissing her. "I love you more, and today _was_ great." he said, flicking his eyebrows flirtatiously.

Elena laughed, "Get out of here before we do it again!"

"Miss. Gilbert, is that an offer?"

"Damon!" she playfully hit his chest, "Jeremy and Stefan are right there!"

"Well, my brother already knows," he said, knowing it would strike a nerve/

Elena laughed, "If I don't laugh, I'll cry. I cant believe that happened…"

"Don't worry about it, I called him one night and Cindy picked up."

"So he does have a girlfriend!"

"Nope, she was just some school slut. But you aren't!"

Elena laughed, unlocking the doors again. "Go, have fun with your brother."

"I will. Talk to you soon?"

Elena nodded, pecking his cheek before he climbed out of the car.

Everything was Defan and nothing hurt! Haha, hope you enjoyed! Please review, favorite and follow! I love reading your reviews!

XOXO,  
Kay


	19. Chapter 19

"Jer, its your year to choose a tree!" Elena said, knocking on the door of a still sleeping Jeremy. "Cmon Jer, Dad wants to leave soon, go!"

"Yay Christmas," Jeremy mumbled unenthusiastically, getting out of bed.

"He'll be down in ten," Elena announced with a smile, returning to making breakfast.

Her father smiled, "I can never get him out of bed, how do you do that?"

"He knows I wont take his bullshit, so he just goes with it," Elena said simply.

A hint of sadness took over the smile, "God, you remind me so much of your mother."

Elena smiled, wishing he wouldn't bring her up, it was too depressing. Elena and her mother had always gone Christmas shopping together, and today she was going to go alone. Last year, her grandmother and aunt had flown in to help, but no one was coming this year. "There you go, I'm gonna go get dressed now," Elena said with a smile, sliding her father his breakfast, 2 eggs, bacon, and a bagel.

"You spoil me!" he called after her, Elena laughed in response.

"Jeremy, if you aren't getting dressed I _will_ kick your ass!" she said as she walked past his room.

She opened her closet, and pulled out a pair of jeans which she slid into. She then pulled an old track sweatshirt over her head, not caring what she looked like today. Pulling out eyeliner, she began work on her makeup, which she did lightly. When she finished that, she combed through her already neat hair and slipped into a pair of uggs.

"We're off!" Jeremy announced, grabbing the keys to the pickup truck.

Their father laughed, "Nice try, I'm driving!" the said, taking the keys from him. "You'll be alright today?"he asked Elena. "We wont be home until late tonight."

She nodded, "I'm alright Dad. I'm just gonna do a little shopping, maybe I'll call the girls or something," she said, trying to reassure him.

When they finally left, she began to clean the kitchen. She found a note on the counter from her father "I don't know what your brother likes. Can you get him some stuff for Christmas?" it read, with his credit card attached to it. Elena smiled; she had known this would happen. Her mother had always done the shopping; her father had no idea what he was doing. After a minute of thinking, Elena finally allowed herself a minute to break. She slid down to the floor, letting out everything from the past month. She never allowed herself to cry, she had to be the strong one. She thought about her mother, and how much had changed since she died. "_Would she be proud? How would she feel about Damon and I?" _she thought. After a few more minutes, the doorbell rang. She peeked out the window, and didn't see a car. She perked up a bit, thinking it was a gift she had ordered online. She walked to the door, not bothering to wipe her face. After all, would the ups man really judge her?

"I am kidnapping you for the day, go get your bag, you're mine-" Damon began. "Whats wrong? Why are you crying babe?" he asked, now worried.

Elena attempted a smile, "Aww, you're sweet. Come on in."

"Whats going on? I've only seen you cry like 3 times."

"I'm fine, I just needed a good cry."

"About?"

"You aren't gonna drop this, are you?"

Damon shook his head, scrunching up his face. "Not a chance."

"I just miss my mom, alright?" Elena said, feeling another wave of tears coming on, trying to hold them back.

"Lena," he whispered, hugging her as close as he could.

She was now sobbing, it had been so long since she had even thought of her mother. "Its not fair," she finally said, gaining control of herself.

"It never is."

"But I'm the replacement, and its just so hard-" she broke off, unable to speak.

"Nobody is ever gonna replace your mom, you know that," Damon tried, unsure of what she meant.

"I know, that's what makes it so hard. I have to cook, and I have to clean and I have to make sure Jeremy does his homework and I still have to be a teenager and have a life and its just so much. Even today, I have to go out and get Jeremy's presents, its just not fair. I have so many responsibilities and if I miss one, it never gets done and I just cant do it anymore, I cant."

Damon took a deep breath, she had always been the strong one, it killed him to see her weak like this. "You don't have to do it all alone, lets get you cleaned up then we're gonna go shopping together," he said with a smile, hoping she would like the idea.

Elena nodded, maybe a day with Damon would get her mind off everything. She wiped the smudged mascara from her face, applying a fresh coat. Damon stood in her doorway, "You don't need all that crap," he said, gesturing to her makeup. "You're just as stunning without it."

"You're sweet, a sweet little liar." Elena smiled, her first real one all day. "How was family night?"

Damon laughed, "Theres a reason I'm not at home today."

"Oh God, what happened?"

"Stefan is borderline failing, is about to be kicked off of football, and he couldn't care less."

Elena sighed, "Whats with him? Are the classes just too difficult?"

"Of course not, he was like you, straight A's. He just isn't applying himself, he doesn't care. Coaches said he shows up to nearly every morning practice hung over as hell. And then during practice while he's being an asshole, his phone is buzzing nonstop, different girls calling from the night before. So basically my brother thinks he's like an 80s rock star or something, he can drink and have sex all night and not face the world in the morning, but that's not his reality."

"I'm sorry," Elena said simply, not knowing what to do. Damon had looked up to Stefan since they were younger. When their father died, Stefan became the man of the house, so of course Damon respected him.

"At least he's getting laid," Damon said, flashing a crooked smile, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Elena laughed, "Well so are you, so don't complain."

"Wait, really? Like now?"

"No! I have to get this shopping done! I'm just saying, its not off the table anymore."

"Oh, okay. Gotcha. We think Stefans depressed though, so we're sending him to Meredith. My poor mom is convinced she's a horrible parent, raising a cutter and a slut."

"Don't call yourself that, you went through a tough time, don't demean yourself like that. Bottom line is you're alright now, and you need to be there to support Stefan and your mom."

"I know. Lets make a deal, lets not be depressing for the rest of the day. Lets just give ourselves a day of happiness, no complications."

"Deal," Elena said, kissing him to seal the deal. "My car or yours?"

"Let me drive you, Miss. Daisy."

Elena laughed, "Lead the way then, driver." She grabbed her bag and they walked out the door.

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"Alright, so what would you buy a 15 year old pothead?" Elena asked as they walked into the mall.

Damon smirked, "How about a bible? Why blaze it when you can praise it?"

Elena nearly collapsed, she was laughing so hard. "Is that from tumblr?"

"That's from tumblr," he confirmed.

"Alright, seriously though, do you think he'd like an xbox?"

"Lena, he would love an xbox! He's a teenage boy! Aww you're an awesome sister, I'm jealous."

Elena laughed, "You have an xbox, what games do I get?" she asked as they approached the gaming section of Best Buy.

"This, this, this and this," Damon said, quickly grabbing games off the shelf and handing them to her.

"Alright, and now just grab the console, and he's done." Damon carried it to the register for her, she took her father's credit card and paid. "Can I put this in your car? I don't wanna carry it around the mall all day..." Elena asked.

"Of course, but you meant to say that you would feel bad watching me carry it all day. Just to clarify. Wanna go to the food court then go back to shopping?"

Elena nodded, "Yeah, that sounds good."

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They sat down with their food, Damon had gotten Chinese food while Elena had a simple salad.

"Oh my God, what is that?" she asked, disgusted.

"Since when do you hate Chinese food?"

"Apparently since now because that smell," she stood up from the table, "I'm gonna be sick," she said simply, walking towards the nearest bathroom.

Damon sat confused, she usually loved Chinese food, they used to have it every Friday and watch a movie. He ate a few bites, not knowing what else to do before clearing their table and walking towards the bathroom. "I'm sorry, I know I'm a guy, my girlfriend is in here though, I have to come in, I'm so sorry," Damon said, walking through the bathroom.

"I'm the only one in here, its fine." Elena croaked from a stall.

"Oh, okay then. Did you like eat something weird?"

Elena shook her head as she walked towards the sink. "No, it was just that smell, I don't even know," she said, rinsing her mouth. "I'm just really tired, I think we should just go home."

Damon laughed, "Of course we're going home. Puking from smells, sudden exhaustion, what are you pregnant or something?"

Elena smiled, before her face fell. "Wait," she whispered, looking up and counting.

"Can you tell me whats going on?"

"Damon. I missed my fucking period," she said, paler than she had ever been.

"Oh my god. Does that mean you're-" he broke off, he couldn't bring himself to say the word.

"Holy shit. I am so stupid, this is all my fault," Elena said, sinking to the floor in tears.

"No you aren't, its not your fault, I was there too, okay lets just stay calm."

"Stay calm? Are you serious? Damon, my life could be over. I can kiss college and a future and running and everything I've ever wanted goodbye. I have to deal with this, you don't!"

"Listen to me. I don't plan on ever leaving you unless you force me away from you. If you are, we'll deal with it together. Lets just find out."

Elena stood, nodding while wiping her face. "I think they have tests in like target or something."

"Come here," Damon said, pulling her into a hug. "I love you."

"I love you too," Elena said simply.

"Lets go find out then," he said, attempting to smile as he held her hand. They walked in silence to the family planning aisle. "Which one do we get?" he asked her, looking at the huge selection.

"I don't know, I've never had to do this before," she snapped.

Damon took a step back, holding his hands up. "Alright, I'll just give you a minute then."

Elena began pulling different products from the shelves, reading the back of each package. She decided to get 2 different ones. She found Damon, who looked at her cautiously, as if she were a time bomb. "I'm not gonna explode. I'm just scared shitless right now, okay?"

"So am I. Lets just get this over with."

They walked to the register, where Elena paid with cash, not wanting her father to see pregnancy tests on his bill. "Should we do it here or at home?" she asked.

"We'll go home, your Dad and Jeremy are upstate, right?"

Elena nodded, "They wont be home till like 8 or 9."

"Alright, then lets get home," Damon said, leading them towards the nearest exit.

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"I'm gonna go take the test now," Elena said, dropping her purse as she walked through the front door of the house.

"You aren't taking it alone," Damon said, following her.

"Damon, you aren't watching me pee on a stick. We have to wait for a few minutes after, you can wait with me, but I am peeing alone," she said, closing the door in his face. Damon rolled his eyes, leaning against the door. "You can come in," a small voice called from inside.

"How long do we wait?" he asked, opening the door.

Elena was staring at the watch she usually used to time her runs. "2:49 left." They sat in silence until Elena whispered "30 seconds." Damon took a deep breath before she announced, "Time."

Damon looked at the test, "Oh my God," he whispered.

"Good oh my god or bad oh my god? I cant look."

"Oh my God you're pregnant," Damon choked out.

Elena burst into tears, "This isn't happening, this isn't happening," she kept repeating to herself.

"I-I have to get out of here," Damon said walking out of the room.

"Damon!" she called after him, but she heard his car starting in the driveway. She began to cry harder, she was clearly gonna have to do this alone.

OH MY GOD! I was freaking out writing this! So much! Ahhh! Let me know how you're feeling about all this in the reviews, and please follow/favorite if you aren't already. Thank you so much for reading, and I have a reading suggestion for you guys! Its called "Four Lettered Lie" by This Is My Escape  
Heres a link: s/8902526/1/Four-Lettered-Lie I really love this story, I hope you guys do too!  
XOXO,  
Kay


	20. Chapter 20

Heres a little something to hold you all over until the next chapter (:

"Oh my God you're pregnant," Damon choked out.

Elena burst into tears, "This isn't happening, this isn't happening," she kept repeating to herself.

"I-I have to get out of here," Damon said walking out of the room.

"Damon!" she called after him, but she heard his car starting in the driveway. She began to cry harder, she was clearly gonna have to do this alone.

Damon drove as fast as the old car would let him, not knowing where he was going, nor caring. His phone began to ring already; Elena's face appeared on the screen. He threw the phone into the back seat of the car, unable to deal with anyone at the moment. He found himself at the cemetery; he parked the car and walked down towards the water where they usually picked flowers. Today he picked up stones, hurling them into the water as hard as he could. He calmed down a bit, and finally sat, just looking at the light current.

"How could I be so fucking stupid?" he asked aloud, wishing someone could answer him.

"Well, you've always been the stupid one. What'd you do now?" a familiar voice asked.

Damon looked around, scared and confused. Finally, he saw the older Salvatore looking down at him from the top of the small hill leading to the water. "Don't think I'm allowed to talk about it. What are you doing here?"

"Came to see Kat. Meredith said it would bring me closure or whatever. Because who doesn't feel better after looking at a rock?" he asked sarcastically. "What are you doing here?"

"I stormed out of Lena's place, and I just drove here. Needed to think."

"About how you could be so, 'fucking stupid'?" Stefan asked, using air quotes.

"Exactly," Damon said, clearly still reflecting on the question.

"Talk to me," Stefan said, sitting next to him. Damon shook his head, avoiding eye contact. "It cant be that bad."

Damon laughed bitterly, "Oh but it can, and it is."

"I promise not to tell on you," Stefan said, smirking.

Damon took a deep breath, he was now considering telling his brother. Stefan was older, he was thinking clearly, and he knew he could trust him. "Alright, but I swear to God, if you laugh or tell anyone, I will beat the shit out of you. This is so beyond serious, so if you're not gonna be serious now, then just leave."

Stefan nodded, "If you're freaking out this badly, obviously its serious. Let me help you, I promise to take this seriously."

"Elena is pregnant," Damon said, in barely more than a whisper, unable to say the words aloud.

Stefan sat silently for a moment, unsure of what to say. "When did you find out?"

"She puked earlier and I made a joke like 'What are you pregnant or something?' and then she realized she was late. We bought a test and sure enough, it was positive. I told her I would be there and everything, but I just freaked and left her. I'm so scared," Damon said. For the first time in a while, he admitted he wasn't strong enough, his walls were finally down.

"Alright. Well heres what we're gonna do. We're gonna drive back to the house, you're gonna call her. She's probably just as scared as you are, if not more so, so we aren't gonna abandon her. We're gonna pick her up and take her to a clinic. Home tests aren't always accurate, she might not even be pregnant. We'll get a definite answer, and go from there."

Damon nodded, "Thanks," he said simply, unable to tell his brother he loved him.

"Alright, see you at the house. Call her when we get home, don't do it in the car. Too intense of a conversation."

"Yes Mom," Damon said with a smile, walking towards his car as Stefan opened the door of his own.

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

Elena hadn't stopped crying since Damon had left, she couldn't believe him. "I have to get out of here" he said, practically rubbing it in that he could escape it. Elena couldn't run, her life was now forever altered. Just that morning she had been complaining about taking her mother's place, now here she was, soon to be a mother herself. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to get accepted to an amazing school, have a long distance relationship with Damon, they would be the couple that lasted. Eventually she'd marry her high school sweetheart, land her dream job, and one day they would have a baby. She was supposed to have time to be selfish, she couldn't be selfish with Jeremy and her dad around, college was her opportunity. She shook her head, regretting everything so much. Had Damon just wanted to sleep with her? Was he really just gonna leave now that things were getting tough? Caroline had called them 'an epic love,' but it is just high school. Maybe their relationship was just that, a high school relationship. She wasn't even sure if they really loved eachother, they had been friends for so long, maybe they had mistaken that friendship and trust for love. Elena couldn't bear to think about Damon anymore, and returned to the baby. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Elena cracked a smile at the idea of having someone who could never leave her. She could protect a child, a child who would love her unconditionally, someone who wouldn't disappear when things got rough. She rubbed her hand over her stomach, though she knew it was too early to feel anything. "I love you, and you'll always love me, right?" she whispered. She eventually fell asleep, still in the bathroom where Damon had left her. She woke to the shrill ringing of her cell phone, a picture of him on the screen. She had two options. She could be difficult, or hear him out. She decided to hear what he had to say, things would be much easier if they were on the same team. "Hello?" she answered.

"Lena, thank God, you're alright!" Damon said, the relief in his voice evident.

"Why wouldn't I be? I fell asleep."

"Well given the situation, I was nervous, alright? I love you. I always will. I freaked, and I am so sorry for that. But I swear to God, I am gonna be here every step of the way from now on, alright?"

Elena smiled, needing to hear that. "Well whats the next step?"

"That's the thing. Don't be mad, but Stefan knows. He's the only one who knows-" he was cut off by a screaming Elena.

"Jesus Christ Damon! Why don't you just call Logan Fell and tell him to broadcast my pregnancy on the local fucking news! Better yet, call Obama! Make sure the whole fucking country knows! Why the hell would you tell him!?"

"He found me freaking out in the cemetery, I had to tell someone and I trust him. He knew we had sex, whats the huge deal? We needed someone with a clear head in the situation, he's our best option. Your brother is too young to help, I doubt either of us wanna ask our parents for help, and we sure as hell aren't going to Barbie or Bonnie or anyone, because you don't want this all over the place. I thought. It's a good choice. Anyway, he's gonna drive us to a clinic, we're gonna take another test there, they have more accuracy there, alright? We're picking you up in ten, throw on sweats, you don't need to be dressed to the nines for a clinic."

"You're right. I'll be ready. Bye," Elena said, she had no emotion in her words anymore.

"See you soon, I love you."

"Love you too," Elena said, clicking the phone, though she wasn't totally sure if she meant it this time.

Dun dun dun! Hope you enjoyed, a lot of you were requesting another chapter, I hope this didnt disappoint! Next chapter is obviously gonna be a lot more intense, so prepare yourselves! Please review, follow and favorite, and thank you all so much for reading and your continued support. I love you guys! More stuff down there, check it out!  
XOXO,  
Kay

PS, I am aware that college letters come before Christmas time, but we're gonna start getting letters after Christmas, because its too much right now! Haha, there may also be little details with pregnancy that aren't on point, but just remember, this is fanFICTION. None of it is real, so it really doesn't matter if some details are missing. Ex: It is now winter track season, not XC. (im a track geek myself teehee) We also totally skipped over Thanksgiving and Halloween, but it doesnt matter, because its fiction. Anyway, thanks for reading this! Haha :*

Oh! Also, I want to get a new cover photo for this picture! I'll start working on something myself, but if any of you are actually GOOD with these things, please contact me! I would love for one of your covers to be here! All I ask is Damon and Elena be in it, because who doesn't enjoy looking at Ian and Nina? Thank you!


	21. Chapter 21

Elena climbed into the back seat of the car, where Damon had held the door open for her and slid in next to her. He leaned in to kiss her, when she simply said, "Don't." He nodded lightly, backing away and settling into his own seat.

"How are you doing?" he finally asked, looking into her eyes.

Elena held back laughter. "How do you think I'm doing?" she asked. "I just found out I'm pregnant, it happened when I lost my virginity, which is already an awkward memory because Stefan was there, and my 'boyfriend' literally abandoned me when I fucking needed him! You said you needed to get out of there, so do I! But it's all in my head and my body and my future, and I can't escape it! I can't believe you're being this fucking selfish and I'm honestly questioning everything right now, so that's how I'm doing, alright?"

"Oh, that was your first time? God, I'm sorry, that's really, wow. Okay, carry on now," Stefan said from the front seat.

"Yeah, it was my first time! And your brother didn't think to use any protection of any sort, he knew damn well I wasn't on the pill!" Elena said as calmly as she could, not even sure who she was directing it to at this point.

"I'm staying out of this one," Stefan said, now tuning them out.

"I'm sorry, but I freaked. I didn't know what to do-" Damon tried.

"And I did?" Elena asked.

"No. No, you didn't. Which is why we're here now. I should have been there before, but lets just find out if its definite, and we'll go from there, alright? I love you," he reminded her.

"We'll talk after we find out," Elena agreed, turning to stare out the window. She couldn't even look at Damon, who was now sighing.

"We're here, do you guys want me to come in?" Stefan said, breaking the uncomfortable silence as he parked the car.

"Let Damon decide, he decided who found out first," Elena said matter-of-factly, climbing out of the car.

Damon sighed again, this was gonna be a long day. "No, I think we're good, thanks Stef," he said, opening his own door.

"She'll calm down, don't worry," Stefan said, smiling.

"Hope so," Damon said, closing the door. He looked to the side of him only to notice she was already walking in alone. He jogged to catch up with her, and tried to hold her hand as they walked in. She balled her hands into small fists, crossing her arms. He held the door open, letting her walk in first.

"Hi, I need a pregnancy test, where can I sign in?" Elena said, in the sweetest tone she had. Damon rolled his eyes, she was going to direct every ounce of anger or stress towards him, and be a doll to everyone else.

"Just fill this out, hand it in, and I'll tell you which room to go to. Are you with her, dear?" the nurse behind the desk asked Damon.

"Yes I am," he said, walking over to where she was sitting.

"I can fill this out on my own. You don't even have to stay, you know, if you feel like you need to get out of here or anything," Elena said, filling out the form.

"I'm good, thanks," Damon said. He wouldn't leave her side, at least she couldn't hold that against him.

Elena stood, walking to the desk. "All done," she said, sliding it across.

"Perfect, you can head back to the third door on your left."

"Thank you!" Elena said, walking down the hall, Damon behind her.

She sat on the table, unsure of what to expect. "Can we at least be civil?" Damon whispered, looking up from the chair he sat in.

Elena nodded, "I'm being civil. Theres just so much going on right now, my whole life is about to change, and you have to decide if you want yours to change. If you're gonna leave me, I want you to do it soon, don't wait until the baby is born. Give me time."

"We don't even know for sure if there is a baby. Lets just wait, alright?"

"Alright," Elena said, looking towards the door, anxious to know.

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

"Its okay, its alright Lena, you're gonna be fine," Damon said to Elena, who was now sobbing. He held her close to him as they walked through the parking lot. "I'm here, I'm totally here," he reminded her. He opened the door, letting her sit in the car before running over to his own side.

"Positive?" Stefan asked, his voice hoarse. He was now just as scared as they were.

"No," Elena choked out, crying even harder.

"Wait, you aren't pregnant?" Damon asked. He had been asked to leave the room, he didn't hear the results from the doctor. He saw her bawling and assumed she was pregnant.

"Nope," Elena managed to say, barely able to breathe, she was crying so hard.

"Why are we crying then? These don't look like happy tears," Damon asked.

Elena didn't even try to answer, she knew she needed a minute. Finally, she whispered "A baby couldn't leave me. I could've protected it, it never would have left."

Damon's heart shattered completely in that moment. "I'm just gonna give you guys a minute, I gotta run into the drug store anyways," Stefan said, climbing out of the seat. The drug store was just across the street.

"Lena," Damon whispered, pulling her towards him, letting her cry into his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head while he rubbed her back, attempting to console her.

"Don't say you wont leave, because I don't want to hear any lies. My mom said she would always be there, and she's gone. I could have-" she said, unable to finish, more tears coming.

"I know this hurts to hear, but you couldn't have done anything for your mom. The doctors even said it, if someone had been there she might have even died."

"Might!" she pointed out. "That's the word, might. But a baby, a baby would never be alone. I would always be there, we'd have eachother," she began to ramble.

Damon wanted to cry himself, he hated seeing her so distraught. "I know, and one day you're gonna graduate from a top school, you're gonna get a job, then you're gonna settle down with some guy who treats you like gold, maybe me if I play my cards right, and then you can have as many babies as you want. I know its tough, but you know that now isn't the right time."

Elena nodded, "I know, I just hate being alone."

The word 'alone' twisted a knife in Damon's heart, he hated every bit of himself for leaving earlier. "You got me, Jeremy, your dad, Bonnie, and Caroline, hell, you even have Stefan!" he said, trying to get her to smile. "You've got half of Mystic Falls wrapped around those little fingers." He looked up, seeing Stefan at the window. Damon nodded, motioning that Stefan could come back in the car.

"Where to?" Stefan asked, starting the car.

"I wanna go to bed," Elena said.

Damon looked at his watch, "Its 6 o'clock. Do you wanna eat?"

Elena shook her head, "No, I want to run, then I want to sleep."

"You can take today off you know, I cant see coach being pissed given the circumstances."

"There are no circumstances. I'm not pregnant. I'm gonna run, shower sleep. Can I just go home?"

"Alright. Want me to come with you?" Damon offered.

Elena shook her head, "It's a clear my head run."

The car was silent until Stefan pulled up to Elena's house. "Thanks Stef," she said.

"Anytime," he said, smiling.

"Bye Damon," she said before walking up the front path.

Stefan began to drive up the street, when Damon began to groan. "What?" Stefan asked.

"Did you miss like everything? I told her I loved her like 3 separate times, she didn't say it back once. We're that couple. We always say it. Then she said she was alone, as if she didn't have me! God, I fucked up."

"Well, that's between you two. Give her a little time, she's in shock. You'll see her tomorrow, just give her a little space," Stefan advised.

Perks of having no social life-Having time to write almost a chapter a day! Hope you enjoyed! Please review, favorite, and follow!  
XOXO,  
Kay


	22. Chapter 22

"I'm sorry I haven't told you this all weekend, but I love you," Elena said, kissing Damon the minute he appeared at her locker with a cup of coffee for her.

"Wow, good morning," he said, shocked by the kiss.

Elena smiled, "Lets pretend yesterday didn't even happen."

"Deal," he said, taking her hand as they walked down the hall together.

The rest of the day went smoothly, until Elena arrived home.

"Damon," Elena said the minute he answered the phone.

"Whats wrong?" he asked, already looking for his keys.

"They came," she said simply.

"Who came? Family?" he asked, starting the engine.

"Letters. Acceptance or rejection letters."

Damon smiled, "Acceptance. I'm on my way. I'm gonna assume you're staring at them, afraid to open them alone?"

"Basically."

TVDTVDTVD

There were four letters on the counter. One from NYU, one from Yale, one from a small school called Marist, and another from Harvard. Elena slid Damon a letter opener.

"I cant do it," she said simply.

"No matter what, you're smart, you're beautiful, and I love you. These are only a quarter of your apps, so even if these are all 'no's, you're still going to school somewhere," Damon said, knowing she needed reassurance.

Elena nodded, "Marist, then NYU, then Yale, then Harvard."

He opened Marist first, as she had said to. "You're in, with 20 grand a year I might add." Elena jumped from her seat, hugging him.

"I'm going to college!" she screamed.

Damon laughed, now opening NYU's letter. "And you're in again, this time with 10 a year, not bad!"

Elena squealed, "Yay! Okay, now open the real shit. Yale."

"I love you," he reminded her, opening the envelope.

"I love you too," she said, not taking her eyes off his hands.

He looked up in astonishment, nodding. "My girlfriend just got accepted to Yale." Elena screamed, running back to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. As she kissed him, he could feel the smile on her face, her stomach shaking with laughter. He had never seen her so happy, and that put him at ease. "Before you try to get me in your bedroom, do you wanna open Harvard?" Damon asked, pulling away. Elena jumped down, tearing the letter open herself.

Her jaw dropped, her face lost the light it had just moments ago. "They said no," she whispered, and for a minute Damon worried she would cry.

"Hey, its fine. You got into Yale! And two other schools! Who the hell needs Harvard? Losers, that's who!" he said, rubbing her back.

Elena laughed, "I did get into Yale," she echoed. Damon turned her by her hips, she was now pressed against the counter.

"You did get into Yale. My ivy-league girl," he said, kissing her. Her arms left his shoulders only to pull herself onto the counter where she sat as she wrapped her legs around his waist again.

"Upstairs," she whispered. He carried them up the stairs into her room, which was immaculate as always.

"OCD much?" he asked, setting her down on the perfectly made bed.

"Stress cleaning," she breathed. Within minutes, his pants had been thrown on the floor, she was now kicking hers off.

"Wow, I'm sleeping with a college girl, scandalous," Damon said, helping her take off her shirt before taking off his own.

Elena laughed, "Theres stuff in the drawer," she said, nodding towards her nightstand.

Damon climbed off of her momentarily to get a condom before jumping back on to the bed next to her. "I love you," he said, hovering over the happiest version of Elena he had ever seen.

"I love you too," she said with a smile, pulling his mouth to hers.

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

Elena began to giggle as Damon held her. "Whats so funny?" he asked.

"I got accepted to Yale."

"I don't know why you're so shocked, you've worked that nice little ass off for the past four years, of course you got in. The question is, are you gonna go?" he asked, knowing her answer. He hadn't even applied to the Ivy League school, he wouldn't have gotten in. He knew he was selfish for hoping she'd say no, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't stand the idea of being away from her for weeks at a time, leaving her alone at parties with guys who would no doubt hit on her. What if she found some hot smart Yale guy? He couldn't compete with that.

"I don't know," she said after thinking for a moment.

"What do you mean you don't know? Its been your dream for as long as I've known you to go to some fancy school."

"Well lets just wait for your letters to come in, okay?" she said, bringing his hands to her lips and kissing them.

"Lena, no," he started. "No, you aren't giving up on what you've always wanted for me, I'll be fine," he said, sitting up, unwrapping his arms from her. He knew she wouldn't have a serious conversation with him while they were spooning.

"Let's just wait, and then we'll talk. What I've always wanted was to be happy. I'm happy when I'm with you, alright?"

Damon nodded, hoping he got into a school in Connecticut.

"Now put a shirt on, Fabio. I don't know when Jer gets home," she said with a smirk.

"Why? My brother saw us naked, shouldn't Jeremy get the gift too?" he asked, reaching for his clothes.

Elena laughed, throwing a pillow at him. "You're an ass."

"And you have a phenomenal one," he said for practically the millionth time, "ass" had always been her go-to insult.

Elena's phone began to buzz, it was Jeremy. "Hey, whats up?" she asked. She looked up at Damon, smiling. She motioned for him to take his shirt off again before saying "Alright Jer, so dads gonna pick you up on his way back from work? He gets off at 8 tonight, right?"

Damon smiled at her, then looked at the clock. It was only 5:45, and they had been given a rare day off from practice. Elena clicked the phone's end button, putting it back on the table. "So basically we have 2 and a half hours until they get home," Elena said with a smile.

"Are we gonna have a re-run, or?" he asked, already looking at the bed.

"I don't think so. I think I'm gonna take a shower," she said with a smirk, unhooking her bra as she spoke. She climbed out of her pink lace underwear before slipping into her bath robe.

"Tease," Damon said, not taking his eyes off of her.

"Well I never said you couldn't shower," she said, walking down the hall.

"Seriously?!" he nearly screamed with excitement, following her down the hall.

"Seriously," Elena said, turning on the water.

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

"Stay," Elena said. The clock now read 8:10, Jeremy and her dad would be home any minute.

"I get this vibe that your dad hates me though," Damon whined.

"My dad does not hate you. Come on, don't you wanna witness the 'my daughter got into Yale' excitement?"

"My girlfriend got into Yale," he said with a smile, getting a kiss from her. The front door creaked open and Elena jumped away from Damon.

"Hi dad," she said.

"Hi? Why are you so happy?" he asked, looking at the smile on her face.

"Well, I'm going to college," she started.

"Elena, we've been through this. After you graduate you're going to college, we know, and we're so proud of you-" she cut him off.

"No my letters came. I got into 3 out of 4 schools so far!"

"That's great sweetheart," he said, loosening his tie and walking towards the living room.

"Well aren't you gonna ask where?" Elena said, disappointed that he wasn't more excited for her.

"Where?" he asked, not looking up from his phone.

Elena was now fighting tears, she walked to the counter, picked up all the letters and tossed them on the couch next to him. "I'm going to Damons," she said, walking out the front door, looking at Damon who had been awkwardly standing in the same place the entire time.

"Have fun," her father called after her, still not looking up.

"He is such an asshole!" Elena screamed the second Damon closed his car door. "I cant fucking believe him! I got into fucking Yale!" she screamed, now crying.

Damon wasn't sure how to react, he just wrapped his arm around her, whispering, "I am so proud of you," over and over again to her. She finally sat up, wiping the final tears from her eyes. "Alright. So where am I taking you? We can go to the diner, we can go see Mama Salvatore, we can go to," he paused to think when she interrupted him.

"Diner?" she asked with a hopeful smile. The diner had always been her favorite place to eat, it was where Damon had first taken her when he got his license and she broke up with Matt.

_TVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVD_

_*flashback*_

_"Damon?" she asked the second the phone had stopped ringing._

_"At your service, whats up?" he asked._

_"Can you come over?"_

_"You call I come, I'm easy like that," he said. "Whats going on?"_

_"Matt and I had a fight, and I think its over-" she said. He could tell she was trying to mask the fact that she was crying, and failing miserably._

_"I'll be there in 10."_

_He rang the doorbell, and was greeted by Jeremy. "She's in her room crying about something, she wont talk to anyone," he said as he opened the door._

_"Thanks little Gilbert, your dad home?" he asked._

_Jeremy nodded, "Yeah, hes in the office. Good luck with her," he said, walking back to the TV where he was watching cartoons._

_"Hey there princess," Damon said as he opened her door. She was sitting on her bed bawling, her phone next to her._

_"Hi," she said quietly._

_"Alright, what happened?" he asked as he sat next to her._

_"He's talking about college and marriage and-" she broke off. Damon couldn't tell why she stopped, was she unsure of what else to say? Or was she still trying to collect her thoughts?_

_"And you don't want it?" he asked._

_"I'm 16! I'm not supposed to know what I want!"_

_"Well did you tell him that?"_

_"Yeah! And he starts freaking out on me!"_

_"What did he say?" Damon asked, now pulling her old Teddy bear onto his lap and laying down with it._

_"He told me he loved me," Elena said quietly._

_"He what?" Damon asked._

_"He told me he loved me," she repeated._

_"And what did you say back?" he asked, bracing himself to hear what could kill him._

_"I said thank you then we just stood there," she said in less than a whisper, her head down._

_Damon stifled a laugh, knowing it would upset her. "I'm sorry, did you just say you thanked him?"_

_"Well I wasn't gonna lie and say it back," she said sheepishly. She looked up and saw him biting his lip and smirking, which he had always done when he wanted to laugh. She smiled, "It is kinda funny."_

_Damon began to laugh, "I would have paid to see that! What did he say?"_

_The smile faded from her face, "Well we stood there in silence for a while then he just shook his head and said I was a tease and then something about someone being right about me and then he said he couldn't do this anymore. Then he walked away."_

_"Well, I say good riddance," Damon said._

_"Maybe I should have said it."_

_"Do you love him?" Damon asked._

_Elena began to cry, "I don't know, maybe?"_

_"Well, if my opinion means anything to you-" he started._

_"It does," Elena said, interrupting him._

_"I think that you would know if you loved him. Love shouldn't be forced or thought about or anything. When its real, you'll know."_

_Elena smiled, "I know. You're the best," she mumbled, resting her head on his chest._

_"I know. Come on," Damon said, fishing for his car keys as he stood up, lightly pushing her off of him._

_"Where are you going?"_

_"We're going to the diner, come on, food makes everyone feel better," he said with a smile._

_TVDTVDTVDTVD_

"I'll have a chocolate shake and chocolate chip pancakes," Elena said, handing the waitress her menu with a smile.

"And I'll have a burger with a diet coke," Damon said, handing his menu in.

"I hope you know I'm taking your fries," Elena said simply.

"And I hope you know that I'm probably gonna have half of your shake," he fired back with a smirk.

"I missed you," Elena said quietly.

"I've been home a while now," Damon said, unsure of how to respond.

"I know. But I just want you to know that it really sucked not having you here. I love you, Damon," she said, holding his hand across the table.

"God, you're making me want to be that guy that sits next to his girlfriend in a booth just so he can kiss her. And I hate those guys," he said. "But I love you," he whispered, kissing her hand.

"Damon, I'm about to start a really deep conversation. And if you don't want to have it, its fine. Its just something that's been on my mind lately," she said, now looking anxious.

"Try me," he said with a smile.

"Do you see us getting married one day?" Elena asked, not looking up.

"Honestly?" he asked. She nodded. "Yes. I do. Hah, see what I did there? I do? That was good…But in all seriousness, I could see myself spending the rest of my life with you."

Elena smiled, "That was a horrible joke."

"You liked it. Do you? Do you see us getting hitched?"

"I do. When I cant sleep sometimes I'll think about what it would be like. I'll imagine rolling over and always seeing you next to me. A little boy running in and jumping on the bed, maybe a little puppy running around," she smiled, obviously in thought again.

"I think we'd need a little girl to keep the boy in line," Damon said. "Speaking of you not sleeping, how are the dreams?" he asked, feeling a wave of guilt.

"They're much better. Only about once a month now, and not nearly as extreme. I'm able to realize that they're just dreams, which is good. So if we both see a future for us-" Elena tried to say before Damon cut her off.

"Elena, I love you but you are not proposing to me. Women can do whatever a man can do, go feminism, but I'm gonna be the one to propose to you. I'm gonna buy you a ring and surprise you and its gonna be so romantic and everything. And we're in high school. Shouldn't we wait?"

Elena laughed, "I wasn't going to propose to you Damon, we're way too young."

Damon blushed, "Well this is awkward."

"What I was going to say is if we both see a future for us, I'm gonna assume we'll stay together throughout college?"

"Well I didn't plan on breaking up with you. Did you plan on breaking up with me?"

"Of course not. But I also don't want to ruin your whole college experience and stuff."

"Elaborate."

"Like if you're at a party and theres a hot girl throwing herself at you, I don't want you to feel like you're so whipped that you cant look at her. And I don't want to feel that way either."

"Are you suggesting an open relationship?"

"Maybe? I don't know, I'm just confusing myself."

The waitress came by, giving them their food. "Anything else?" she asked.

"No, we're good thanks," Damon said. He waited until she walked away to start speaking again. "I'm gonna be honest here. I don't know if I like the idea of other guys being able to look at you or touch you or anything."

Elena sat in silence for a minute. "You know what? I'm not ready to have this conversation. Lets just wait a while, we have like 8 months before we leave," she said with a smile as she began to slice her pancake.

"No. You cant just open this door and slam it shut. I'm not gonna want to look at another girl in college. I know for a fact I wont. Because I have a girlfriend who loves me, who I love with all my heart. I'm not gonna throw that away for some bimbo I hardly know."

Elena didn't respond, she kept her eyes fixed on the plate. "Not even if you were drunk?" she finally asked.

"Not even if I was wasted," he said seriously. "Is this about Kol?" he asked in hardly more than a whisper, hardly able to bear thinking about him.

"We'll talk about it later," Elena said.

"Its about Kol then," Damon said.

"You haven't touched your food," she said, taking a fry from his plate.

"I don't give a shit about my food right now because all I can think about is some frat boy douche bag's tongue down my girlfriend's throat while I'm miles away, unknowing and unable to do anything!" he nearly screamed.

"Damon," Elena said, in an attempt to calm him down. "Damon, I love _you_. No one else."

"I know that. But that didn't stop you from screwing around with Kol, how the hell do I know that isn't gonna happen again?"

"It didn't mean anything, I don't love him or anyone else, I love _you,_" Elena said, fighting tears.

"I know that, but it still bothers me. I know I said I was over it, but you know what? I'm not. I am jealous. This sounds weird, but I want you to myself. I like knowing you're mine. I want to know that when you do that little thing with your tongue, I'm the only one who knows what that is. It sounds so petty and pathetic out loud, but I just want to be your one and only."

Elena was now silently crying. "I'm sorry," she croaked out.

"I love you. I just hate the thought of you possibly loving someone else."

"I love you too, can we just stop? I swear, I will never even kiss another man as long as we're together. I wont do that little thing with my tongue with anyone besides you. I love you."

Damon smiled, "And I will try to control my jealousy. But its hard, I mean look at you. You're absolutely stunning, of course guys are gonna want you."

Elena blushed, "I doubt that's true, but if it is, just know, they cant have me. I'm yours."

"My girlfriend got into Yale," he said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"And my boyfriend needs to eat. Seriously. Its bothering me that you aren't eating," she said, taking another forkful of pancake.

Damon laughed, reaching for her shake. "I want to buy us a big white house with blue shutters. And a white picket fence, with flowers everywhere."

"Wow, you've got it all mapped out," Elena said.

"You say it like it's a bad thing. Is that not what you want?" he asked, now unsure.

"Its exactly what I want," she said, stealing another fry.

"God, we are gonna have sexy babies," he said with a crooked smile.

Aww Delena feels. I've been rewatching season one, so many feels. I cant. Haha please review and favorite/follow/recommend if you haven't already! Thank you so much for reading!  
XOXO,  
Kay


	23. Chapter 23

"So whats new in the lovely world of Delena?" Caroline asked as she poured dressing on her ridiculously small salad. "Why don't we have a cute name?" she asked Tyler.

Elena laughed, "Not much going on, is there?" she said, turning to look at Damon.

He shrugged his shoulders, "We just booked a June wedding, and our first kid is due in August of next year," he said nonchalantly.

"You're an ass," Elena said, hitting his arm playfully.

He opened his mouth to speak before the whole table said "And you have a great one," in unison.

"Am I that predictable?" Damon asked.

Caroline nodded, "You are. Right Ty?" Tyler nodded in agreement with her. She always needed reassurance, and could get clingy at times. He secretly loved how clingy she could get at times, it was nice to know that someone needed him.

"Taroline?" Matt asked from his end of the table.

"Cyler?" Elena tried.

"Forwood. Its Forwood," Damon said as if it were law.

Caroline laughed, "I like that. Forwood and Delena."

"And Matt Donovan," Matt muttered.

"We gotta get you a girlfriend hun," Caroline said. "Lets see, whos single on the team?" she asked herself, now deep in thought.

"I don't want to date a cheerleader Care," he groaned.

"You asked for it," Tyler said with a smile. "What ever happened to that Rebekah or whatever her name was? The blonde?" he asked.

"Nut job," Matt said simply. Tyler furrowed his brows, and gestured for Matt to elaborate. "She decided to tell me after I kissed her that she lived at like a psych ward or something."

"Why the hell was she living there? Did she seem crazy?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know man, a lot of bracelets though if you know what I mean. Guess she played the bloody violin or something," he said with a laugh.

"Oh shut the fuck up, dicks," Damon said before standing up and storming out of the cafeteria.

"What just happened?" Caroline whispered as everyone else sat in a shocked silence.

"Have you ever seen Damon without a watch?" Elena said quietly before excusing herself to follow him.

"Oh my god," Caroline whispered.

"Oh shit. I had no idea," Matt said, clearly guilty now.

"So I guess that's why he was gone," Tyler said.

"That's what she was talking about when she had the Damon day and nurses station and everything! It all makes sense…" Caroline trailed off.

"We should go apologize," Matt said, standing up.

Caroline grabbed his arm and pulled him back to his seat. "No no no, you are staying right here, let her calm him down."

TVDTVDTVD

"Hey," Elena said, standing in the doorway of the empty classroom Damon had ducked into.

"Hey back," he said quietly, not turning to face her.

"Don't get upset, they're just asshole football players," Elena said with a smile, walking over to sit next to him. Damon had always mocked them for being such jocks, wearing their varsity jackets whenever they could.

"But they were talking about Bekah. She's such a sweet girl."

"I know, but they just don't get it, they don't know what its like to suffer the way you and her have," she said, now sitting next to him, leaning her head into his chest.

"Well you don't either, and you're not an asshole about it," he said, running his fingers through her hair.

"Well I know what its like to watch your best friend suffer, and it sucked. Don't let them ruin your day, alright?"

Damon kissed the top of her head, "Alright," he agreed.

TVDTVDTVDTVD

"What the hell am I gonna buy Damon for Christmas?" Elena groaned, throwing herself onto Caroline's bed.

"Elena! You have like a week! You didn't get him anything yet?" Caroline chastised.

"Nope, a lot going on lately. What did you get Tyler?"

"Well," the blonde paused, rummaging through her closet. She finally pulled out a familiar pink striped bag and gently moved the tissue paper. She pulled out a skimpy bra and underwear set, red with white fur trim.

"Wow, Tyler is gonna look fierce," Elena sarcastically commented.

"I'm the present! It's a little santa suit!" she squealed.

"Well don't you put the 'hoe' in 'ho ho ho" Elena said with a smile.

"Shut up!" Caroline said, lightly throwing a pillow towards her.

"What am I gonna get Damon though?" she asked.

"I don't know! You're the one who has been friends with him since like birth! Did you get everyone else at least?"

"Yeah, I got Rose this sweet little set from Bath and Body, with a necklace, its so cute. Then I got Stef a hoodie and cologne. Jer is getting an xbox, I got my dad some new shirts, he needed them. Bonnies covered, so are you, so its really just Damon."

"Aww, you're so good Lena. Why don't you get him something for the car? He never shuts up about the damned car," Caroline tried.

"I cant get him anything for the car," Elena whined. "Wait, what if I bought him a new radio for the car? He mentioned he wanted one with a dock, I'll have to talk to Stefan about which one he wanted…" she trailed off.

"Wow, who could've thought of that?" Caroline sarcastically asked. "Do something sexy with it. Wait. You guys have done it. Right?"

"We've done it," Elena said with a smirk.

"Aww my little Elena, no longer a virgin!" Caroline exclaimed.

"Say it louder Care, don't think everyone heard you!"

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

"Stef, can I ask you something?" Damon asked from the doorway.

"Well that was a question, but I'm assuming you want advice. Whats up?"

"What the fuck do I get Lena for Christmas?"

"Seriously? Even I got Lena her gift already," he said, moving his bowl of chips so Damon could sit next to him on the couch. "Just put your dick in a box," Stefan said simply.

Damon sighed, "Should've seen it coming. Seriously though, what do I get her?"

"Alright, I'm gonna suggest jewelry. Get her a bracelet or something. Oh! What are those ones?" he asked.

"I don't know, why would I know?" Damon asked.

"Here, lemme call Linds," he said, reaching for his phone. "Lindsay! Hey babe, quick question. What are those bracelets girls like? The ones with the charms?" he asked. "Ahh! Thank you! You're a life saver Linds. See you soon honey," he said before ending the call.

"Babe? Honey? Who the hell is Lindsay?" Damon asked.

"Good friend, sweet girl. Anyway, she said they're Pandora bracelets. Its cute, you buy her a bracelet, then you just keep buying her charms to add on. If you're smart, you'll just buy a bunch of charms and hide them in your room in case you forget your anniversary or something. It sets you up for every holiday, its genius."

"Wow. Thanks Stef," Damon said with a smile, walking out of the room. He turned back on his heel and hesitated before he spoke again. "Stefan?"

"Yeah?" he asked, his eyes glued to a football game.

"Would it be insane to buy Elena a different type of jewelry?" he asked slowly.

Stefan turned the TV off, now focused. "What are you talking about?"

"Like a ring."

Stefan laughed, then promptly stopped when he saw Damon was not joining him. "Well you're too late for a purity ring or whatever," he joked.

"No, Stef, I'm serious. Like an engagement ring. What if I proposed to her?"

"Damon," Stefan started, unsure of what to say. Practically everyone had known it would happen eventually, but not while they were so young. "You're 18. You're 18 years old!"

"Exactly. I'm an adult," Damon pointed out.

"Okay, maybe you are an adult legally, but Damon, you're a kid! Theres no way in hell you're ready to marry anyone, let alone a girl you've been dating for what, 3 months?"

"Stef, we've known her since we were kids! I know her and I love her!"

"Damon, I dated her for longer than three months. Just think about that."

"Okay but you actually hung out with her about twice. Its really not a bad idea. She's about to go to college-" he was interrupted by Stefan.

"Wait, why are you saying she? You're going too, aren't you?"

"Well I want to, but I haven't gotten letters yet. She did like all early decisions."

"Alright, well you'll get in somewhere then. Why the hell would you want to be married in college?"

"Because I honestly believe that she's the love of my life," Damon said simply.

Stefan shook his head. "That's what you think now. What happens when you meet another girl in school?"

"I wont."

"Unless you're going to an all guys school, you're gonna meet a girl in school. Just like she's gonna meet a guy."

"Well yeah, I'm gonna meet girls, and I'm sure some of them are gonna be really hot, but I have Elena. I don't need some sorority chick."

"Don't do it. Itll probably freak her out and you know that you aren't ready for this. Whos to say you guys are even gonna last? You don't know how many people came to school saying 'I love so and so back home' and ended up cheating and wrecking their relationships."

"We'll last Stef, just wait," Damon said, storming out of the room. He didn't know why he was so angry, was it because Stefan was right? Or was it because he was just so wrong? He let himself fall on the bed, just thinking for a while. He wanted so badly just to be older. He wanted high school and college to be far behind them. He wanted her to be happy and successful, writing or doing whatever made her happy while he did something with business, which was his major. He wanted them to save enough money to buy the house of their dreams and eventually start a family. He just wanted to be permanently happy, and he knew that he would be with her.

So it was a short chapter, but the next chapter is Christmas! Its so weird writing about Christmas in July, but oh well! Hope you enjoyed, please review/favorite/follow!  
XOXO,  
Kay


	24. Chapter 24

It was now 10 am on Christmas day, the Gilberts should be over any minute. Rose was getting ready to put their turkey in the oven while Damon and Stefan screamed at the TV while playing xbox, which she allowed them to move into the living room with the larger screen.

"How the hell aren't you dead? I shot you like seven fricking times!" Damon screamed, now standing, his eyes never breaking contact with the screen.

Stefan laughed, "Well, maybe if you didn't suck I would be dead."

"I don't suck! This game is just a load of shit, alright?"

"Damon, watch your mouth!" Rose called from the kitchen.

"Sorry Mom," Damon mumbled.

"Can you pause that? I think I hear their car in the driveway, go open the door."

"K," Damon mumbled again, with no intention of pausing the game.

"Now please?" Rose asked.

Damon restrained himself from rolling his eyes before saying "Yes, mother," and sauntering away from the TV. He opened the door right as Elena was reaching for the bell.

"Merry Christmas!" she said, pulling him into a hug.

"Merry Christmas! Look at you, looking all cute," he said as they walked into the house.

Elena blushed, "They're just jeans Damon."

"They're just jeans that your ass looks amazing in," he whispered into her ear, pulling her by her scarf closer to him.

Elena laughed, "Damon, your mother is right there!" she reminded him.

"And your father is right there," Damon said in the lowest voice possible, separating himself from her. "Hey, Mr. Gilbert! How are you?" he asked.

"Damon, please, call me Grayson! I'm good, where's your brother? Havent seen him in ages…"

"I'm right here! Grayson! So good to see you man, come on in, lets get you a drink," Stefan said, leading him to the kitchen.

"Hey Damon," Jeremy mumbled looking through a bag. "Here, this ones from us, this ones just from Lena," he said, handing him two gifts.

"Oh, thanks man, you guys didn't have to get me anything. Your stuff is under the tree," he said with a smile, nodding towards the tree. He placed the two boxes "Yours is in my room," he said to Elena, wrapping an arm around her hip, pulling him towards her.

"Open yours, I want to see your face," she said. She was absolutely glowing, her smile shedding a light he had only seen a few times over the years.

He raised an eyebrow, she was absolutely giddy. "Alright," he said, pulling off the bow first. She had always put such care into gifts, though he had never understood the point.

"Oh come on, just rip it open," Elena complained, anxious to see his reaction.

Damon laughed, "I am! Patience, grasshopper!" Elena smiled, not taking her eyes off of his face. "Oh my God, is this?" he asked, unable to finish the sentence.

Elena nodded, "For the car. iPod dock and everything," she said with a smile.

"Lena!" he cooed, pulling her into a kiss. "You're like the best girlfriend ever. You know that?"

"Well, yeah," she said with a smile. "Theres more, but you cant really open it…" she trailed off.

"What?" he asked.

"You'll see," she said as she attempted a crooked smile.

"Come upstairs, I wanna give you yours now," he said, taking her hand.

"Jer, we're going upstairs. Make sure Rose and Stefan get their gifts?" she asked Jeremy, who had found his way onto the xbox.

"K," he muttered, focused on the game.

Elena rolled her eyes, following him up the stairs. "You better not have spent a lot on me," she warned.

"Oh shut up," Damon said, reaching into his closet where he had hidden the gift. "Here you are, Miss Gilbert," he said, handing her a square white box embossed with a Pandora logo.

She looked up at him, smiling as she opened the box. "Damon," she breathed. "Its beautiful!" she said, looking down at the silver bracelet. The bracelet held one lone charm, a bear with a blue bow wrapped around its neck. She was puzzled for a moment, why would he buy her a bear? She nearly cried when she made the connection.

*flashback*

"Alright, seriously, last snack guys, then bed," Rose said with a smile, placing hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies in front of Damon and Elena. They had been about 5 or 6 at the time, and they were having one of their many sleepovers.

"Thank you," Elena squeaked, already dunking a cookie.

"Thanks mama," Damon said, reaching for his mug.

"Why do they get more snacks?" a small voice asked from the hall. Stefan was standing in the hall, watching his brother and practically sister with a look of pure jealousy. He wore a pajama set plastered with dinosaurs, they were everywhere.

"Well, Damon and Elena didn't start a fight at soccer today," Rose said simply.

"I didn't start it!" Stefan quickly defended himself.

"Stefan, I watched you. You went up to the goalie and called him, what was it?" she asked.

"I called him a stupid idiot," Stefan quietly admitted.

Damon and Elena gasped in unison, shocked that he could be so profane.

"Exactly. Come have one cookie and back to bed. Don't tell your father, you're supposed to be asleep right now," Rose said with a smile, she had always had a soft spot for the boys while her husband believed in discipline.

Stefan smiled, running towards the counter, joining Damon and Elena on the bar stools that were lined up before the island. He took two cookies, hoping Rose wouldn't notice. Of course she did, but she decided to let him believe he had succeeded in fooling her. When the trio had finished, Rose lead them to the bathroom to brush their teeth. Elena kept a toothbrush in the house, just as Damon kept one at hers. While they brushed their teeth, Rose set up their sleeping bags in the fort they had built earlier in the living room. Despite the fact that she had a perfectly comfortable pullout couch they could use, they always insisted on using sleeping bags. "Alright guys, everyone set?" she asked.

All three children nodded, "Yes maam," Elena said.

"Alright, then Stefan, head back upstairs, I'll be up in a minute." Stefan nodded, walking towards the stairs, waving to Damon and Elena. "Lets get you two in that fort of yours," she said, walking towards the living room. Elena climbed in first, followed by Damon. "Everyone good?" she asked.

"Night Mom," Damon said.

"Good night Rose!" Elena called right after.

Rose smiled, "Good night guys, I'll leave a light on in the hall in case you have to get up or anything. I'm right upstairs if you need me."

"Truth or dare?" Damon asked the minute he knew Rose was out of earshot.

Elena smiled in the dark, they had played this game at every sleepover. "Dare," she said, feeling rebellious.

"Alright, you have to go to the kitchen and get us more cookies without getting caught," Damon whispered, not wanting to be caught himself.

"Done," she replied, already unzipping herself. About two minutes later he heard her padding back into the fort. "Here you go," she whispered, handing him one while she ate another.

"Well that was an easy one," Damon said with an eye roll, taking a bite.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Whats your biggest secret like ever?" she asked.

Damon sighed, regretting his decision. "You cant tell anyone or else I'm gonna be really mad at you."

"I promise," she vowed, offering him her pinky, which he looped with his own.

"I still sleep with a teddy bear," he confessed, clearly embarrassed. "But its fine, because he's a bear and bears are scary and tough."

"Really?" Elena asked, shocked. Damon had always had the macho façade up, he rarely let it down, even at that age.

"Well yeah, do you?" he fired back, hoping to change the subject.

"I used to, but I left it at my cousins house. So now I have to sleep by myself," she revealed, clearly upset.

"You don't have to sleep by yourself."

"Who am I gonna sleep with? He was my only panda. Its not the same."

"Let me see," Damon mumbled, already moving his sleeping bag closer to hers. "Now you can sleep with me and Roger," he said, holding up the bear.

"Really?" Elena asked, her eyes now lighting up.

"Yeah, come here," he said. "You can even hold him," he offered, passing her the bear.

Elena hugged it close to her chest, "Thank you Damon," she said. Her eyes were now fluttering, she would soon be asleep.

"You're welcome Lena," he said as she turned over. He awkwardly wrapped his arm around her so he could at least be touching his bear while she slept with it, and the two eventually fell asleep.

*present day*

"Roger?" she croaked, unable to speak with the lump in her throat. She was choked up, she couldn't believe he remembered that. Damon nodded, "How did you remember?" she asked.

"Well I mean it was the first night we awkwardly spooned. I hope you know I just did it because I wanted Roger but didn't want to take it from you. I didn't think you'd take me up on the offer," he said with a smirk.

"I love so it much, put it on," she said, handing him the bracelet.

"I love you so much," he said, clasping the bracelet around her wrist. He wrapped his arms back around her waist, pulling her into a kiss. Within minutes, they were sitting on the bed, now in a full on makeout session. "Wait," he said, pulling away from her and reaching for his phone.

"What are you doing?" she asked, angry he had stopped just to check his phone.

"Texting Stefan to distract them for a while," he told her while typing out the message. His phone buzzed, signaling another text. "His exact words were 'Ew oh my god you guys are such horny teenagers. I can get you like a half hour if you need it.' We're good," he pointed out, searching for a condom in his wallet.

"Your wallet? Seriously?" she asked with a laugh.

"Its always on me, and you never know," he said jumping back to the bed on top of her.

Okay, so aww theres your little Christmas fluff. It was so weird thinking about Christmas at this time of year! Hope you guys liked it, and in the next chapter, we're gonna see new years drama! Please follow/favorite if you haven't already, and please leave reviews! I LOVE reading them!


	25. Chapter 25

Its finally here! Enjoy!

Class had ended at 2:27, and by 3:00, everyone had been out of the building. Elena had stayed after for a meeting with her English teacher to revise an essay, and was just now getting to her locker. Her coach had began allowing her two days off a month, and she used one that day. She fiddled with the lock for a bit before it finally opened, and she began grabbing folders and putting them in the bag, taking binders from the bag and putting them in the locker and such. Damon had stayed after for a meeting with his guidance counselor, where she told him he should be getting letters from schools within the next week or so. He knew Elena had been after, and smiled when he saw she was still at her locker, he was sure she'd be home by now.

"Hey you," Damon whispered, grabbing Elena's hips before pulling her into an embrace, pushing her hair onto one shoulder. His mouth quickly found its way to her neck, giving a scorching kiss that was sure to leave a mark.

Elena laughed, now blushing. "Damon! Stop that! We're in the hallway!" she tried to chastise him.

"Oh come on, you know don't want me to stop," he said, returning to her neck. Though her back was to him, she knew he was wearing his crooked smile.

"Well you're in a good mood today," she said, closing the locker and leaning against it, now turned to face him.

"I'm in an amazing mood today," he agreed.

Elena nodded before looking both ways down the hall; it looked like they were alone. She grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him into a kiss that escalated quickly into an intense make out session.

"Oh come on!" a voice called from the end of the hall after what seemed like only seconds. "Keep it in your pants Salvatore!"

Damon pulled away from her, rolling his eyes. "Hi Jeremy," he said with the smallest hint of annoyance in his voice.

"I'm driving you home?" Elena asked her younger brother.

"Nah, I'm going out with Anna. You weren't picking up your phone so I thought I'd check here. Anyway, I'm eating with her so don't cook for me."

"Ooh, what happened to you and Bon Bon?" Damon said, sarcastically referring to the one time Bonnie and Jeremy had been caught drunkenly kissing by Elena. "Oh wait, Anna? I like her. She has spunk."

"Shut up dick," Jeremy muttered as Elena threw Damon a dirty look.

"Home by 9," Elena said.

"Seriously? How about 11?" he whined.

"Jer," she started. "It's a school night."

"Its Friday babe," Damon whispered.

"Oh shit, really?" she asked, shocked by the news. Damon and Jeremy nodded. "Alright, then be back by 12 the absolute latest, I mean it. Do you have your key? Am I picking you guys up or anything?"

"Awesome! Thanks Lay, I got it and nope, you're good. Bye," he said, headed towards the staircase.

"Where were we?" Damon asked.

"Right here," she giggled, pulling him back to her.

"You have to stop doing that Lena," he chided with a smile.

"Doing what?" she asked, dropping her arms from his shoulders.

"That thing with your tongue and playing with my hair at the same time, or else we're gonna end up doing it right on the floor," he said simply.

"Well we cant have that, now can we? What are we doing tonight since its apparently Friday?" she asked, grabbing his hand and walking down the hall.

"Well Ms. Gilbert, I actually talked to your dad-"

"What the hell were you talking to him for?" she interrupted.

"And he's letting me take you away for a long weekend. So I'm gonna follow you to your house, you're gonna pack a bag including this slutty santa suit I was promised, that black dress you look amazing in, your red heels, and whatever else you want, then you're gonna get in my car and we're gonna go."

"Does Jer know?" she asked hesitantly.

Damon nodded, "Its all taken care of, we're coming home Monday night. Don't even bother asking where we're going, I'm not gonna tell you."

"Awesome! I'll see you in a few, come pack with me," she said, giving him a peck on the cheek before climbing into her car.

"Yes ma'am, I'm right behind you," he said closing the car door and walking to his own.

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

"Ooh, put these in the yes pile," Damon jested, tossing her a pair of lacy red underwear.

Elena laughed, "This is gonna be so fun, how long is the drive?"

"About five hours, you can sleep if you want though, I don't mind."

"Why would I do that?" Elena asked, zipping her bag closed.

"Well I don't know how much sleep you're gonna be getting this weekend, I mean we're gonna be alone for 3 days…." he trailed off.

"Damon, what are you suggesting?" she said with a giggle, handing him her bag. "Lets go!"

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

*3 hours into the car ride*

"So I just have no idea whats going on with them, like I love Care but she's just such a control freak! I mean she's so pissed at him! If you did that I would be mad, but I would get over it. Tyler cant help it! Then Matt keeps coming to me asking for tips on this girl he wants to bang, and Bonnie just has been so weird lately. Damon, are you even listening?"

"Huh?"

Elena sighed, "Can you actually listen to me when I speak every once in a while?"

"I listen!" Damon tried to defend himself.

"What was I talking about?"

"I'm driving!" he tried again.

"Okay Damon," she said, crossing her arms and leaning towards the window.

"Come on Lena, don't be like that," he pleaded.

"Like what? I'm fine."

"Alright, we've been friends forever, I know that means you're pissed. I'm sorry, I'll listen more, okay?"

"You don't have to worry about listening anymore, I'm just gonna stop talking."

"Lena, I planned a beautiful weekend for us, we're halfway there, don't ruin it. Want me to turn back and just go home?"

"I'm not ruining anything! You aren't listening, so I'm just gonna stop talking! How is that ruining anything?"

"Because now you're in a mood!" Damon nearly screamed, his foot now leaning further onto the pedal, the car now high above the speed limit.

"Pull over Damon," Elena snapped.

"What was that? Sorry I wasn't listening!" he sarcastically fired back.

"Damon just come on, pull over, I'll drive," she pleaded.

"I can drive Elena, its fine."

"Its not fine when you're going 80 in a 65 zone! Slow the fuck down!" she screamed.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry," he mumbled, slowing down.

"I'm not in a mood," Elena muttered under her breath.

"Okay Elena," he replied, clearly not believing her.

"Why are you calling me Elena?" she asked defensively.

"That's your name sweetheart."

"Yeah, but you always call me Lena or Laney or babe or something. You never call me Elena."

"I just wanted to mix it up, stop reading into things _babe_. Just relax, alright?"

"K Damon."

They sat in silence for the next hour before Damon spoke. "I love you," he said quietly.

"I love you too," she said instantly.

"Are we gonna fight all weekend?"

"I hope not," Elena said with a hopeful smile. His hand reached for hers, their fingers intertwining. "So are you gonna tell me where we're going yet?"

"Now why would I do that? We'll be there in about a half hour, you'll see."

Elena smiled, "Well do you have anything planned you can tell me about?"

"Umm, we have dinner reservations at this fancy place tomorrow night. Then I was thinking we could do a movie marathon or whatever you wanna do. And maybe tonight I can finally get part two of my Christmas present…"

"Anxious are we?" she asked with a smirk.

"We are very anxious. And I need my hand back," he reminded her, putting his hand back on the wheel. "Text Jer, I wanna know how things with Anna are going."

"Why do you care about my brother's love life?" she mumbled as she rummaged through her cluttered bag for her phone.

"We were talking on Christmas while you were helping my mom cook or whatever you were doing. He was going on and on about her, seems to really like her."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, just ask if hes having fun or something."

Elena paused, typing the message before she looked back up. "Sent! Speaking of brothers, hows Stef? When does he go back?"

"Hes alright, he's still struggling with the whole Katherine situation, but he's hanging in there. He goes back next week, then he's gonna follow up with someone out there."

"Good for him, I'm glad he's doing better," she paused, unsure if she wanted to go on. "How are _you_ with the Katherine situation?" she asked quietly.

Damon took a deep breath before speaking. "It still sucks," he said simply.

"Its always gonna suck. But does it suck less?"

"Oh absolutely. When I was convinced I loved her, it was hell. But now we have this thing going and this is like legit love and its so different from what I had with her. And its so much better. But she was one of my closest friends, I'm always gonna miss her."

"I know, I just wanna make sure you're doing alright," she assured him, placing her hand on his knee.

"I wont be alright if you move that hand any further," he said, looking at her and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh shut up! That wasn't supposed to be sexual at all! I'm trying to be a supportive girlfriend!" she said through laughter, hitting his arm lightly.

"I don't know Lena, I mean I get it, you cant keep your hands off of me and all, but you have to control yourself," he countered, fighting laughter of his own.

"Cocky much?"

"Very," he quipped.

"Are we there yet?" she whined.

"Two minutes, Gilbert. You seriously don't know where we are?"

"Not the slightest hint. Why, should I?"

"I just figured you would have, but I'm glad you haven't. Stef told be to blindfold you, but you get carsick and I assumed you didn't want our first full night together alone to be spent hunched over the toilet, so I didn't."

"Well I appreciate that. Is that where we're going?" she asked, pointing to the only house on the desolate street.

"You should be a detective, you are just so smart! I promise, its not as creepy as it looks once I get the lights on."

"Is this the old boarding house?" she asked.

"There's my Yale girl!" he announced, parking the car in the driveway.

"Damon, its stunning," she said breathlessly. She was speechless, she had assumed he was taking her to some cheap hotel, but this was so much better.

"You've been here before, haven't you?"

"Yeah, your dad took me with you guys once or twice when we were little, I barely remember it though. Here let me help you," she said, reaching for her bag as he pulled it out of the trunk.

"Let me carry it," he insisted. "Wait! Idea!" he announced, grabbing their last bag and slinging it over his shoulder before running up the front stairs of the house.

Elena smiled, shaking her head. She closed the trunk and began to follow him. She watched as he threw their bags on the floor and began running back to her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"This," he whispered with a smile, tucking her hair behind her ear and pulling her into a kiss. He could feel her smile as her fingers began to play with his hair. His hands made their way to the back of her thighs as he picked her up, his lips never leaving hers as he carried her up the front steps. He kicked the door closed, and attempted to find the light switch. After a minute of hitting the wall with his hand, Elena pulled away, jumping out of his grip. "Fucking lights," he mumbled, still looking for the switch. After a minute the entry was lit, exposing the beauty of the home. "Now where were we?"

"I think you were about to give me a tour of the house," she said with a smirk.

"Stairs. Bedrooms up there. Bathrooms up there. Kitchen. Living room. Fire place. Bathroom. Theres your tour," he explained, pointing in the general direction of each room. "Now where were we _really_?" he asked.

"I think we were gonna make something because I'm starving," she said, picking up the grocery bags he had left on the floor and walking towards the kitchen.

"What am I making you babe?"

"I can cook too Damon," she smiled as she unpacked everything he had bought.

"Of course you can hun," he teased.

"You bought brownie mix?" she asked, holding up the box with a wide grin across her face.

"I bought brownie mix."

"Have I mentioned I love you? Alright, we just need the brownie mix, eggs, water," she trailed off, talking to herself. Damon put the rest of the groceries away as Elena found a bowl. "Where the hell do you keep the thingy you bake them in?"

Damon smirked, "Your technical Yale terms are just so hard for me to comprehend. Top shelf."

"Thanks," she said, now on her toes to reach the pan. "And can we not mention college at all this weekend?"

"Deal."

"Awesome," she said distractedly as she poured the batter into the pan. "And we're good!" she announced as she closed the oven. "22 minutes," she said, now sitting on the counter and licking the extra batter off the spoon.

"22 minutes? That sounds like enough time to do something fun," he suggested.

"I'm not really in the mood Damon, I'm gonna go change," she said, hopping off the counter and walking towards the stairs.

"Ouch, rejection stings Lena!" he called up the stairs. He shrugged, walking into the living room and turning on the TV.

A few minutes later Elena poked her head through the doorway. "Hey, I'm just gonna shower and then I'll come down, we can watch a movie or something. Keep an eye on the brownies for me though."

"Sounds good," Damon said, flipping through channels. When he was finally comfortable, the timer buzzed. He rolled his eyes and sauntered into the kitchen to take them out. He was muttering a string of curses when he noticed her.

"What was that Mr. Salvatore?" Elena asked. She was perched on the edge of the countertop, her eye makeup heavy, her hair pulled to one side in dramatic waves. She wore red underwear with a black lace trim, a red bombshell bra trimmed with white fur, her 4 inch black pumps, and a smirk on her face. Damon stood in shock, he hadn't taken his eyes off of her or said a word. "I think you need to take out those brownies Damon," she reminded him in an attempt to snap him out of this trance.

"I don't give a fuck about brownies right now," he managed to say before walking over to her.

Elena fought laughter, "No seriously, can you take them out first?" she asked as he ran his hands over her long lean legs.

"You will be the death of me," he whispered before kissing her forehead. He walked to the oven, took the brownies out and set them on top of the stove. He made sure everything was off so they'd have no more distractions.

"Merry Christmas," she practically purred.

"Only a few weeks late," he said with a crooked smile as he hooked her legs around his waist, walking towards the stairs.

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Elena woke up with the sun in her eyes, and Damon's arm draped across her chest. She rubbed her eyes, looking at the clock; it was only 9:30. She decided to sneak out of bed and attempt to make breakfast. The second she moved Damon's arm, he woke up. "Where are you going?" he whined, pulling her back to him.

"I was gonna make you breakfast," Elena giggled.

"Nope, you're staying right here, cause if _you_ leave _I_ cant do this," he whispered, kissing her neck from behind.

"Your phone is buzzing," she pointed out.

"And my gorgeous girlfriend is lying naked next to me. What do you think I'm gonna choose?" he asked sarcastically.

"Twenty minutes, we aren't staying in bed all day."

"I can work with that, but I don't think you're gonna want to leave this room in twenty minutes," he whispered with a flick of his eyebrows, pulling her on top of him. "I wanted to thank you," he paused to kiss her shoulder, "for a lovely night," the phone began buzzing again. "Who the fuck is ruining this?" he groaned, glaring at the phone.

Elena smirked. "If they're calling more than once, its probably important," she rolled off of him, checking the phone. "You have 5 missed calls and 3 voicemails from your Mom," she said, handing him the phone. "Just call her back, it'll take two minutes."

"Ugh, you're so responsible," he said with an eye roll, taking the phone. "Hi Mom," he paused, "Wait, what?"

Elena rolled over to face him, "Everything okay?" she mouthed.

Damon was now sitting up, "Right, okay well I'll be there tonight," he paused while Rose spoke, "What do you mean?" He began pacing in front of the windows, "Alright, let me talk to Lena, keep me posted though," he paused again, "I love you too, bye."

"Whats wrong?" Elena asked, sitting up and wrapping the sheets around herself.

"Its Stefan," he started. "He uh might have tried to kill himself," he said quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What do you mean might have? Is he okay?"

"He was out and he drank hard last night, and then he went home and took his meds, Fell gave him some stuff, but you cant mix that with booze….Hes still unconscious so they don't know if it was an accident or not," he explained, unsure of what to do.

"Alright, well lets just pack up and I can drive home, okay?"

"There's nothing we can do though, he's unconscious in the hospital, there's really no point of being there. My mom even said it."

"Damon, we aren't leaving your mom alone, she's probably losing her mind right now."

"She's not alone, my aunt is there with her. We finally get a weekend alone; I don't want to cut it short."

"We'll come back another time, its fine, this is Stefan. Family first, lets pack up here and then I'll make you something quick, alright?"

"I don't want to go back," he said guiltily.

"You what?"

"I don't want to go back. I don't want to see him like that, and I don't want to see my mom like that, and I don't want to see my aunt like that, and I just don't want to go back. If that makes me a horrible person, then fine, but I don't want to go. I want to stay here, with you, and have an amazing weekend."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Its just gonna upset me, you know that. Why am I gonna put myself near a trigger like that?"

"Alright, then start thinking about what you want me to make you for breakfast, and then I might take you up on that movie marathon," she said, pulling his shirt over her head.

Damon groaned, "Even when he's unconscious, he cock blocks me."

Elena ignored his comment, "What am I making?" she asked, walking backwards towards the door, tugging at the hem of the black v neck.

"Lets see what we have, I'll be down in a minute, I just wanna find pants," he said with a smirk.

Elena rolled her eyes with a smile and walked downstairs, he was down less than a minute after her. He managed to put pajama pants on, yet he didn't wear a shirt. "Seriously Fabio?" she sarcastically asked, gesturing to his chest.

"You're wearing my shirt! I mean its fine if you feel the need to take it off," he smirked again.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go back Damon?" she asked seriously, she had clearly been thinking about it.

"Positive," he mumbled, looking through the cabinets. "Do you want a Damon omlette?"

Elena's eyes lit up. "You would make me one?"

"I would make you anything Lena," he reminded her as she jumped up on the counter. She perched herself in the corner of the kitchen, where she had last night.

"Miss. Gilbert, are you trying to seduce me again?" he asked, rummaging through the cabinets.

Elena laughed, "Lets here this one, how am I seducing you now Damon?"

"Well, you're sitting there, where you seduced me last night, in my shirt, which you know I love, and you aren't wearing underwear. I mean the shirt isn't that long on you Lena," he informed her with a smirk.

Elena blushed, hopping off the counter. "Well I didn't notice that. I'll be back," she said, headed towards the stairs to change.

"I didn't say I didn't like it," he pointed out, pulling her back and kissing her against the countertop. "I like this."

"I like this too," Elena said, pulling him in for another kiss.

"No, like this," he gestured around them. "I liked watching you get excited about brownies, and you surprising me, and falling asleep holding you, and pretending to be asleep this morning even though I woke up like an hour before you, I just wanted to watch you sleep, because you are so beautiful. I don't think you can even comprehend just how stunning you are, maybe that's what makes you so amazing Lena. You're so beautiful and smart and funny and charming and loving and- and compassionate, all without even trying. That's the beauty of you. You're so strong, you've gone through hell and back and I have never once heard you complain." Elena was now getting choked up; this seemingly came out of nowhere. "I love you so much," he went on. Elena opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. "I was gonna save this for later, but I wanna do it this morning, because I have never felt happiness until I woke up next to you, and I am just dying to say it. Elena Gilbert, will you marry me?"

Ahhhh! Cliff hanger! This was a bit of a longer one, hope you guys enjoyed, so much drama now! Whats she gonna say? Will there be Jeremy/ Anna cuteness? Whats going on with Stefan? Dun dun dun! So many questions! Haha, thanks for reading, please review/follow/favorite, and expect a new chapter within the next 2 weeks!


	26. Chapter 26

"Damon," she managed to choke out.

"I love you so much," he reminded her with a smile.

"I love you too-" she began, but was interrupted by Damon, who took her hand, sliding a silver ring onto her finger. Elena stood silently, in shock.

Damon tucked her hair behind her ear, still smiling, "I'm sorry, I know you don't like surprises, but this was a happy one, right?"

She remained silent for another minute before taking a deep breath. "I cant do this," she croaked out, putting the ring on the counter and walking towards the stairs.

Damon stood in place, unsure of what had just happened. Elena collapsed on the bed, in tears. She knew he would be devastated, but she also knew neither of them could handle a marriage. She composed herself, and managed to get dressed, and was brushing her hair when he appeared in the doorway. "Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey back."

"Damon, I know you're upset, but just hear me out-"

"Upset? You think I'm upset? I just poured my fucking heart out to you, you tell me you love me, then you fucking reject me two seconds later! Upset doesn't even begin to cover this!" he shouted with a bitter laugh.

"I'm sorry! But I wasn't aware that I love you translated into I'll marry you!"

"Well it didn't exactly hit me as a no!" he screamed. He took a deep breath, collecting himself. "Okay, we're done yelling at each other. Why not? Why did you say no?" he asked, his voice catching in his throat.

"Damon, we're teenagers! We're 18! It would be stupid!"

"How would it be stupid? I love you, I'm pretty sure you love me, or is that stupid too?"

Elena was now crying again, "Don't say that, you know I love you."

"Honestly? I don't. I don't know Lena. I don't know what the hell is happening right now. Today was supposed to be great, we were supposed to call everyone and tell them, and you were supposed to be excited about a dress and everything," he rambled.

"I love you. That's why I'm not going to marry you right now. What happens when I'm at Yale and you aren't? What happens when I fuck up again? Damon, we're eighteen. We haven't even graduated high school yet. You know that the second we announced it, they'd all assume I was knocked up. Who knows what life has in store for us? We've hardly lived yet, why do you want to be tied down so early in life?"

Damon sighed, "So we're having this conversation again."

"What are you talking about?"

"The diner."

"Oh, when you tried to pick a fight with me in public?"

"No, when you suggested we be in an open relationship! You want to see what else is out there, but you don't wanna dump me completely just in case this is as good as it gets, is that it?"

"Damon!" Elena screamed.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't mind being committed at all Elena. I dare you."

"You know what? I love you to pieces, I do, but I fucking hate being in a relationship sometimes," she admitted.

"The truth comes out!" Damon screamed. "Finally! She stops lying to herself and everyone around her! Lets here why its so horrible being with me that you couldn't imagine making it official."

"Its great being with you, I love it and you so much. But when I'm out with Bonnie and she's talking about going out there doing whatever the hell she wants, with whoever she wants, whenever she wants, I get jealous. And honestly? I feel like when I'm in college, I'm gonna be the fucking grandma in the corner, sitting alone with a soda, because she cant trust herself with alcohol, she cant bear to see you as upset you were when I kissed Kol. That was a knife in my heart, I'm never letting myself be the reason you feel like that ever again."

"Too late Lena, too late. Pack your bag, we're leaving."

Elena hadn't stopped crying, "I'm sorry," she sobbed, he didn't even look at her. "Can we talk about this?"

"What else is there to talk about?" he snapped.

"Why are you so angry? You told me to be honest, and I was," she sniffled.

"Because clearly you don't love me the way I love you. And that just really fucking sucks." Elena stood silently, knowing better than to try defending herself. She knew he would just get more worked up if she did. "Maybe we should just take a break."

"Okay, yeah lets just watch a movie or something," Elena said, wiping her face.

"No, a break from _us._"

"Oh," Elena said, bursting into tears again, "No, no that's not what I want," she said firmly.

Damon laughed bitterly, "Yeah? Well we don't always get what we want sweetheart, hell I wanted to marry you, and that aint happening."

"Cant we just wait? I want to marry you. I do. I want the white house and the blue shutters with you, of course I do, but why now?" she asked. "Why now? Why do we have to do this before college? Why?" she went on when he didn't answer. "Why, Damon? Why?" she was now screaming.

"Because maybe I don't trust you!" he finally screamed.

"You don't _trust_ me?" Elena seethed.

"How the hell do I know you _aren't_ gonna fuck it up again, huh? Maybe a marriage is insurance for that! Maybe a commitment could prevent that and end up saving us!"

"I kissed him Damon!" she shrieked. "I fucking kissed him! You're acting like I had his child! I kissed him because you pissed me off and I was angry and spiteful! But I learned from that! I'm not gonna do it again, because I'm not gonna be the reason you relapse. You aren't going through that again, not over me." Damon stood silently; he hated thinking about it so much. She crossed the room, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love _you," _she whispered, pulling him to her. "_You. Not him, not anyone else, only you."_

"So you're definitely going to Yale?" he asked quietly, breaking the silence.

Elena nodded, "I owe it to myself, I cant give up my dream Damon. I cant."

"I know," he said simply.

"Can we just pretend this didn't happen? We can re evaluate after graduation," she tried.

"No. If you wanna forget it happened, fine…but I cant. I still love you, I always will, but you just broke my heart Elena. You did. I know that wasn't your intention, but I am completely shattered right now. I cant pretend everything is okay when it isn't. Cause heres whats gonna happen, we're gonna go back to the way it was, and theres gonna be an elephant in the room. Then August is gonna come, and we're gonna go our separate ways to school, and I'm gonna shatter all over again. We're making a decision now. What are we gonna do? Are we calling it quits? Are we getting married? Are we gonna go on as we have? Whats going on? Whats the plan? Because I cant live in this limbo anymore. I need to know." Elena stood silently, her lips pursed. "Whats gonna happen to _us_?" he asked in a voice that broke her heart.

"I don't know. I don't know," she kept repeating, now crying. "What are we gonna do?" she croaked out, reality sinking in. They would graduate in a few months, and this high school love would be over, and that killed her.

"What if we were engaged? We wouldn't have to act on it now if you don't want to. We can wait until we graduated college, buy a house, and all that."

Elena thought carefully before she spoke. The idea definitely appealed to her, but she still wasn't sure she wanted to give up her freedom in college. She could never cheat on Damon again, but she couldn't help but feel as if she were cheating herself out of a true college experience. Practically everyone meets the love of their life in college, she thought before stopping herself. She already had the love of her life, she was sure of it. Yeah, she'd miss out on stupid flings, but she already had the one thing that people search for their whole lives, at the age of eighteen. "Will you ask me to marry you again?" she asked with a small smile.

Damon was shocked, he never thought she would agree, but he couldn't have been happier. "Yeah, hold on, left the ring downstairs," he said with a smile, running towards the hall. Elena chuckled, hearing him stumble and curse at the bottom of the stairs, but within seconds he was in front of her, on one knee. "Elena Gilbert, will you marry me?" he asked her again, now with a confident smirk.

"I would love to, in a few years," she said with a glow, giving him her left hand.

"I love you," he reminded her, standing up, pulling her to him.

"I love you too," she whispered, letting him hold her for a while before she kissed him. "Did you want to make those phone calls?" she said, looking for the phone.

"Not really," he confessed. "I'd be perfectly fine with keeping this between us for a while if you wanted to, I get it."

"I like that, just us knowing. Come here," she said, pulling him towards the bed. She sprawled out, looking up at the ceiling. She patted the space next to her, "Come chat with me."

"What do you wanna talk about?" he asked, lacing his fingers through her hair.

"How many kids are we gonna have?" she asked with a giggle.

"Lets have a bunch. Like five," he suggested with a smirk, knowing she would freak.

"Five? Damon, I love you, but I would die. Lets start with two. Two boys," she smiled at the thought.

"We cant have two boys, they'll kill each other...Do you remember Stefan and I? If their my kids? Nope, we need a little girl to keep the boy in line. We need a little Lena."

"Can we name the boy Ric? That'd be cute."

"Only if we can name the girl Taylor. I like that, we could call her Tay. And we have to go to Disney. Can we go to Disney?" he asked excitedly.

Elena chuckled, "We can name the girl Taylor. And hell yes we are going to Disney!"

Damon smiled, "You're gonna be such a good mom, you know that?" he asked, rolling on his side to face her.

"I hope so," she said quietly, now thinking about her own mother.

"I hope the little girl isn't too much like you."

"Why would that be so bad?" Elena said, picking up a pillow, ready to hit him with it.

"Because she'd be spoiled rotten, I wouldn't be able to say no," he said with a smirk, pulling her on top of him for a kiss.

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So there's that! Hope you enjoyed, please review, I love reading them! Follow and favorite if you haven't already, I'm gonna start the next chapter now! The next one is going to take place in May, so we're close to prom and graduation and stuff will be happening then! Love you all! Thank you so much for reading!


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